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Wednesday, June 2, 2010

Kamasutra In Islam [30. Ar Ruum: 21] And among the signs of His power is that He created for you wives

[30. Ar Ruum: 21]

And among the signs of His power is that He created for you wives of your own kind, so you tend to be and feel reassured him, and pledged his love and affection among you. Verily in this is truly there are signs for people who think.

All puja and blessing for GOD is just a Glorified and Exalted. There is no god but GOD. There is no GOD allies for the ruler of heaven and earth. Greeting and invocation to the Prophet Muhammad continues to shed sallallaahu 'alaihi wasallam and his wives and his descendants.

Amma ba'du. This article is for most humans may be considered taboo

or not useful at all. It was only natural for this kind of discussion very rarely delivered by Kyai and Ustadz. But we have to realize again that Islamic Shari'a is the source of the Prophet Muhammad sallallaahu 'alaihi wa sallam after being given instructions by GOD subhanahu wa ta'ala. So, as long as we follow what is conveyed by the Prophet and his wife and his best friend, it means we have to follow the sunnah Apostles. If they act properly, we certainly also true.

And we on this occasion to try to explain again what is justified by GOD and His messenger, in the conjugal relationship, especially manners intercourse or intercourse or sex or in modern times people call it "Kamasutra".

Kamasutra we submit this may be very contradictory and very contrary to what many are written in books such as Mujarrobat, horoscope and more. The books are then believed by the public as truth. Indeed they have established a case of religion without science tradition, but in a sense instinct alone.

REASONS FOR MARRIED

From Abu Hurairah, the Prophet sallallaahu 'alaihi wa sallam, he said: "She was married for four things: [1] because of their possessions, [2] because of its descendants, [3] because of her beauty and [4] because of his religion. Then choose a woman who is religious, then you'll get lucky. "

[Bukhari, Muslim, Nisaa'i, Abu Dawood, Ibn Majah, Ahmad and Ad-Darami]

SHE IS A GENTLE CREATURES

From Abu Hurairah, he said: Messenger of Allah sallallaahu 'alaihi wa sallam said: "Verily, the woman like a rib. If you try to straighten it, then you will break it. But if you leave it, then you will enjoy it by staying in a state bent. "

[Bukhari, Muslim, Tirmidhi, Ahmad and Ad-Darami]

As we know from the two above hadith, that she was married by four reasons. And the best reason for marriage is because of his religion. It meant that women who understand the religion of course she will always please her husband. He knew about the obligation preen only to her husband, she also knew she had to follow the "fantasy" husband, especially in this sex, and he knew that he also has the same right to be treated with loving care.

And second, we know that women are gentle creatures and can not be treated harshly, including this sex problem. So let not the husband just because of his sexual fantasy to follow later he was being a bit rude or forcing his wife to obey her husband desires. But should the husband tells his wife that Islam justifies the "fantasy sex" was.

GOD knows what passion there is in the hearts of His servants. And the fantasy sex is a gift given to the husband and wife HER already tied up with the halal. GOD subhanahu wa ta'ala creates a desire to husband and wife to love one another, to love and be loved, loved and cherished. That's the nature of God that we should not forget. Is GOD in HIS religion of Islam, DIA has established procedures for interaction between husband and wife who later taught to the Apostles HIS HIS to be submitted to the people of HIS.

And we try to mention some mailing lists that Kamasutra and submit it to the people who are willing to accept the truth of the Apostle sunnah. We do not follow the behavior of those who disbelieve, because what is lawful by GOD subhanahu wa ta'ala, it is also permissible for us. So we should be grateful for it as a gift of GOD.

Kamasutra IN ISLAM

    * A wife should not refuse her husband for intercourse, and vice versa
    * Intercourse may be done in the daytime, but must not be in the daytime fasting month (Ramadan) because it will be subject to expiation (fine / ransom).
    * Husband-wife read the prayer before intercourse
    * The freedom of intercourse:

          o intercourse is allowed from front or from behind like an animal being married, provided that they do not put the penis into the anus.
          o intercourse may see the private parts (genitals) husband or wife
          o be naked
          o may resort to "force" anything during the intercourse

    * Husbands may release the semen (sperm) outside the vagina of his wife (with intent to avoid pregnancy)
    * If you want to repeat intercourse, it must perform ablutions again
    * If you want to sleep after intercourse, it must perform ablutions beforehand
    * Allow junub bath with husband-wife
    * Do not tell me about what is done when the husband and wife in intercourse with others, including the in-laws.

IN NO intercourse

    * Unlawful intercourse with a wife who is menstruating (menstrual)
    * Unlawful intercourse with the wife who had just finished giving birth (parturition)
    * Unlawful intercourse in the anus (rectum)

NO WIFE
HUSBAND refuse

1. WIFE HUSBAND CAN NOT refuse

From Abu Hurairah, that the Prophet sallallaahu 'alaihi wa sallam said: "If a wife to leave or stay away from her husband's bed, the angels curse him till morning."

[Bukhari, Muslim, Abu Dawood, Ahmad and Ad-Darami]

From Abu Hurairah, he said that the Prophet sallallaahu 'alaihi wa sallam said: "By GOD that my soul in His hands, when a man calls his wife to bed to bed, but the wife was reluctant to (refuse), then the population of heaven [angels] angry with her until her husband forgave her. "

[Muslim]

---------

Those are some hadiths that mention of the prohibition of the wife to refuse her husband. And of course we must know also that a husband must also understand the desire wife. Because the passions lust that existed at the women tend to be larger, but they were able memendamnya. So that really wise if the husband has also learned to understand it.

2. Intercourse WELCOMED IN DAY AFTERNOON

From Abu Hurairah, he said:

A man came to the Prophet sallallaahu 'alaihi wa sallam and said: "Woe to me, O Messenger of Allah."

He asked: "What makes you hurt?"

The man replied: "I had intercourse with my wife during the daytime of Ramadan."

He asked: "Do you have something to free a slave?" He replied: Did not have.

He asked: "Are you able to fast for two consecutive months? He replied: Not able.

He asked again: "Do you have something to feed the 60 (sixty) poor?"

He replied: "No." Then he sat down to wait for a while. Then the Prophet gave him a basket of dates, and said: "This Sedekahkanlah."

The man had asked: "Which means I have to menyedekahkannya (dates) to the poorest people among us, while in this area there are no families that most need it than us."

Then the Prophet sallallaahu 'alaihi wa sallam also laughed until one of visible teeth. Then he said: "Go home and give your family eat."

[Bukhari, Muslim, Tirmidhi, Abu Dawood, Ibn Majah, Ahmad, Malik and Ad-Darami]

This is one tradition that calls on the people of the Prophet that intercourse during the daytime. And the scholars argue that this tradition contains about permissibility husband and wife having sex during daylight hours. If the act is forbidden, of course, the Prophet sallallaahu 'alaihi wa sallam would impose sanctions (punishment) or issue a ban.

The reason that people are fined because he intercourse on the day of Ramadan fasting. So he and his wife are not only void the fast and making up those obliged to (paying) fast, but they have to pay another penalty as mentioned in the hadith.

PRAYER BEFORE PLAYING

3. PRAYER BEFORE intercourse

From Ibn Abbas, he said: Messenger of Allah sallallaahu 'alaihi wa sallam said: If one of them will menggauli his wife, let him read:

"Bismillah. O GOD, we put away the devil, and put away evil from what YOU bestowed to us. "

Because if the destined relationship between two of them are led to the child, then Satan will not harm the child forever.

[Bukhari, Muslim, Tirmidhi, Abu Dawood, Ibn Majah, Ahmad and Ad-Darami]

4. DIRECTIONS FROM intercourse WELCOMED BACK

From Jabir, he said: The Jews used to say that if a man his wife in qubulnya menggauli (vagina) from behind, then the child is born will squint his eyes. Then came the verse:

[2. Al Baqarah: 223]. Wife-wives, is (like) the land where you grow crops, then Go to the land where the farm-tanammu it how ye will. And work (good deeds) for your souls, and fear Allah and know that you will meet Him someday. And give glad tidings to the believers of people.

[Bukhari, Muslim, Abu Dawood and Ad-Darami]

---------

This Hadith is a theorem that allows a husband to his wife fuck from behind as animal mating, but that kosher is come from a place that had been established that the vagina (Faraj). Now if you put his dick (penis) into the anus (rectum), it is haraam.

Prophet sallallaahu 'alaihi wa sallam said: "Do not you attacking the woman through his butt" or the Prophet also said: In the anus.

[Tirmidhi, Ibn Majah and Ahmad]

---------

From Abu Hurairah, that the Prophet sallallaahu 'alaihi wa sallam said: "Cursed is the man who came to the woman through the anus (anus)."

[Tirmidhi, Abu Dawud, Nisaa'i, Ibn Majah and Ahmad]

---------

Of course the logic and reason we know that the anus is a dirty hole because it is a channel where the shit out of him percernaan. Similarly Islam is full of holiness and love of cleanliness, of course, our religion prohibits hard fuck wife in her anus (rectum).

5. BER-FREE Fantasy

Prophet sallallaahu 'alaihi wa sallam said: "And, one of intercourse inside of you no reward'. They asked, "O Messenger of Allah, is there one among us to satisfy lust and he got rewarded for that?" He said: "What do you think if she set it to something forbidden, whether he gets a sin?" They replied, "Yes", He said, "so too if he just put it on a kosher thing, then he gets a reward."

[Muslim]

---------

Hadith on the proposition to be one that gives full freedom to the husband-wife berfantasy against any desire for them both when intercourse. During their act together no one knows or a peek, then the husband and wife are given the freedom anything as Al-Baqarah: 223's. Included here if they want to see each other naked or their genitals.

6. ARE DEAD IN intercourse martyr

Even as the virtue of this intercourse, until the action was included in the group when he found himself a martyr to die in a state junub after mengumpuli wife. Vice versa.

From Jabir ibn Atik of the Prophet peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him say:

"There were seven other martyrs who died fighting sabilillah fi (in the way of Allah) are: [1] The man who was stabbed to death is martyrdom, [2] drowning is a martyr, [3] together with his wife to death is martyrdom, [4] abdominal pain is to die a martyr, [5] had burned to death is martyrdom, [6] is a martyr's death hit by debris and [7] women who die giving birth is a martyr ".

[Ahmad, Abu Dawood, Nisaa'i, and Justice in the book with comments Mustadraknya sanadnya saheeh hadith. This opinion was approved by the ADH-Dhahabi]

7. Maniy outside the vagina

From Abu Sa'id al-Khudri, he said: We fought alongside the Prophet sallallaahu 'alaihi wa sallam against Bani Musthaliq ago we managed to capture some Arab women are beautiful. We had not been in touch with the wife, then we would love to redeem them so we can marry them and do mut'ah 'azal [remove sperm outside the vagina to prevent pregnancy]. We say: We do so while the Prophet was in the midst of us without us asking about it. Then we asked also to him and he said: "It's okay even if you do not do ('azal it) because there is not a soul that has been set for GOD created until the Day of Judgement unless bound to happen."

[Bukhari, Muslim, Tirmidhi, Nisaa'i, Abu Dawood, Ibn Majah, Ahmad, Malik and Ad-Darami]

---------

This is a tradition that in mansukh (deleted / in-delete), because marriage mut'ah only allowed during the three days since the revelation that time is yet to come. But after three days it was forbidden marriage mut'ah forever by GOD.

From Jabir, he said: "We still do 'azal when the Qur'an was still falling." Ishaq added; Sufyan said: "If there's something definitely forbidden the Qur'an has forbidden it."

[Bukhari, Muslim, Tirmidhi, Ibn Majah and Ahmad]

From Abu Sa'id al-Khudri, he said: The problem of 'azal never talked about near the Prophet sallallaahu' alaihi wa sallam. Then he asked: "Is it 'azal?" Replied the Companions: "[' azal is] A man has intercourse with his wife who was breastfeeding her child, but she did not want his wife was pregnant. Or a man who has intercourse with sahayanya servant, but he did not wish would not have become pregnant because of it. "

Replied the Prophet sallallaahu 'alaihi wa sallam: "There's no point do you guys like it. Because the pregnancy was included Qadr. "

Words of Ibn 'Aun, "then I cry to Hasan, Hasan then said: By GOD, so it is actually a warning from GOD.

[Muslim]

---------

From Jabir, he said: "We never do 'azal the time of the Prophet and our deeds the news reached the Prophet sallallaahu' alaihi wa sallam. But he did not forbid us to do it. "

[Muslim]

From Abu Sa'id al-Khudri, he said: Messenger of Allah sallallaahu 'alaihi wa sallam asked people about' azal, he replied: "Not all of the semen (sperm) directly into the child. But when GOD wants to make something, none of which can be prevented. "

[Muslim]

---------

Of Saad bin Abi Waqqash, he said: A man came to the Prophet sallallaahu 'alaihi wa sallam, then he asked: "I do' azal to my wife (who was at the time of feeding the baby). How is it legal, ya Rasulullah? "He replied:" What made you do it? "The man replied:" I am sorry for his children (fear if he becomes disabled). " Messenger of Allah said: "If it causes children with disabilities, it is definitely going to cacatlah the people of Persia and Rome." [Muslim]

---------

And many other hadith about the 'good azal of Bukhari and Muslim, not to mention the Book of Sunan and Musnad. So that the scholars were agreed that the issue semen outside the vagina is allowed.

All the hadith about 'This was then made hujjah azal (source of law) by some scholars in determining the laws of masturbation and masturbation.

And opinion in the Shafi'i school is divided into two kinds:

1. According to Imam Shafi'i: mendzalimi haraam for yourself and include adultery hand.

2. According to some "supporters of Shafi'i ulama salaf" (Shafi'i Salaf): Makruh law (moral turpitude but did not sin), because 'azal in this story of the Companions of course the same as masturbation, because the semen is itself impossible except with the aid of hand. And 'azal or masturbation is equally seminal issue, whether it is outside the vagina after intercourse or not because of promiscuity. And there is a history that tells about 'azal taken by one because the wife is menstruating.

8. LEGAL masturbation and masturbation

Case 'azal is also one argument used by scholars to support the Indonesian Government program that is KB (Family Planning), though technically different. 'Azal intended to avoid pregnancy, similarly with contraception.

The use of contraceptive pills and devices intended to kill sperm, but the scholars agree that as long as the seed was not yet 120 days old, it is not sinful because it is still in the form of blood.

Meanwhile, if more than 120 days, then killing a fetus considered a baby and a big sin.

9. IF WANT TO MAIN wudoo AGAIN

From Abu Sa'eed al Khudri, he said the Prophet sallallaahu 'alaihi wasallam said: If you want to repeat senggamanya intercourse then again, it must perform ablutions beforehand.

[Muslim]

---------

This Hadith does not write clearly who ordered ablution. But the scholars argued that the repeated ablution is both of them, namely husbands and wives who want to relive their intercourse. This is adjusted with other hadiths mention that intercourse is an act both cases, the obligation arising from the act should also be borne by the husband-wife's.

Similarly, if a husband-wife wants to sleep after their intercourse, they both also perform ablutions required before they are allowed to sleep or shower immediately jinabat. [Because it basically had to perform ablutions shower jinabat also].

BEDTIME Ablution

From Aisha, she said: When the Prophet sallallaahu 'alaihi wasallam going to bed, when he was junub, the first such ruling in his prayer ablutions, after that he was sleeping.

[Bukhari, Muslim, Nasai, Abu Dawood, Ibn Majah, Ahmad & Ad Darami]

Wudoo IF WANT TO SLEEP

From Ibn 'Umar, he said: (father)' Umar ibn al-Khattab asked the Prophet sallallaahu 'alaihi wasallam: Yes, Messenger of Allah, may we sleep in a state junub? Replied the Prophet sallallaahu 'alaihi wasallam: "It's okay, but must perform ablutions beforehand."

[Bukhari, Muslim, Tirmidhi, Nasai, Abu Dawood, Ibn Majah, Ahmad, Malik & Ad Darami]

From Aisha, she said: When the Prophet sallallaahu 'alaihi wasallam was in a state junub, when he wanted to eat or sleep, the first such ruling in his prayer ablutions.

[Muslim]

-----------------------------

From Abdullah ibn Abi Qais said: I asked Aisha about the prayer Witir Prophet sallallaahu 'alaihi wasallam, then she (Aisha) replied by mentioning the Hadith about Witir. Then I ask also: What did the Prophet sallallaahu 'alaihi wasallam in a state jinabah (junub), whether he has a bath before bed? Or did he sleep first and then take a bath? Aisha replied: Both had done the Prophet sallallaahu 'alaihi wasallam. Sometimes he bathe first, and after that he was sleeping. Sometimes he made ablution first, then he slept. I said (Abdullah): Praise be to GOD who made all things into the field.

[Muslim]

10. BATH TOGETHER

From Umm Salamah, she said: When I was lying with the Prophet sallallaahu 'alaihi wasallam in a blanket, suddenly I'm menstruating, so I came out slowly and took special clothing menstrual period. Prophet sallallaahu 'alaihi wasallam said to me: Are you menstruating? I replied: Yes. He sallallaahu 'alaihi wasallam called me and I lay back down with him in a blanket. Zainab bint Umm Salamah said: She (Umm Salama) and the Prophet sallallaahu 'alaihi wasallam jinabat bath together in a single vessel.

[Bukhari, Muslim, Nasai, Ibn Majah, Ahmad ibn Hanbal and Ad Darami]

HUSBAND-WIFE SHOULD BATH TOGETHER

From Ubaid bin Umair, he said: Aisha said that Abdullah bin 'Amr ordered the women to resolve their hair when bathing. Aisha said: 'Amr Ibn How strange, he asked women to describe his hair as a shower, why not just told to shave his hair? Actually I never showered with the Prophet sallallaahu 'alaihi wasallam from one place and I did not flush my head more than three spray.

[Bukhari, Muslim, Nasai, Ibn Majah, Ahmad ibn Hanbal and Ad Darami]

From Aisha, he said: I take a bath together with the Prophet sallallaahu 'alaihi wasallam from one vessel, so that our hand turns into the laver. Whereas when we were both showered junub.

[Muslim]

From Aisha, he said: I take a bath and the Prophet sallallaahu 'alaihi wasallam (also took bath) of water a vessel called the Al Faraq vessel (volume 15 liters).

[Bukhari]

From Ibn Abbas, he said: Maimunah (wife of the Prophet SAW) preached to me that he showered (together) along with the Prophet sallallaahu 'alaihi wasallam from one vessel.

[Bukhari, Muslim. Tirmidhi, Nasai, Ibn Majah & Ahmad]

---------

About this case we presented in another file specifically discuss the "shower together" so that we need not explain at length.

11. DO NOT tell anyone

From Abu Sa'id al-Khudri, he said the Prophet sallallaahu 'alaihi wa sallam said: "That bad, bad man's place in the side of GOD will be at the Day of Judgement is where my husband of mutual confidence-trust with his wife, but then the husband opened his own personal secret wife .

[Muslim]

------------

This is the hadith that forbids us to hard or even forbidden to the husband or wife to tell her anything that they both do when having sex with others. Above Hadith says about wife personal secrets, secret means including his wife's body parts or anything related to the secret that should only be husband and wife who knows.

And people who should not be told this is all about, whether it's parents or in-laws though,

And Allaah knows best
only GOD is Knower

Original concept:

Alif_Lam_Mim_1711@yahoo.co.uk

Re-Edited:

Aysha_Khumaira@yahoo.co.idm

Cinta-Rasul@yahoogroups.com

manutd01.multiply.com

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Kamasutra Dalam Islam [30. Ar Ruum: 21] Dan di antara tanda-tanda kekuasaan-Nya ialah Dia menciptakan untukmu isteri

[30. Ar Ruum: 21]
Dan di antara tanda-tanda kekuasaan-Nya ialah Dia menciptakan untukmu isteri-isteri dari jenismu sendiri, supaya kamu cenderung dan merasa tenteram kepadanya, dan dijadikan-Nya diantaramu rasa kasih dan sayang. Sesungguhnya pada yang demikian itu benar-benar terdapat tanda-tanda bagi kaum yang berfikir.

Segala puja dan puji hanyalah bagi ALLAH yang Maha Suci dan Maha Agung. Tidak ada tuhan selain ALLAH. Tidak ada sekutu bagi ALLAH sang penguasa langit dan bumi. Salam dan selawat senantiasa tercurah kepada Nabi Muhammad shallallahu ‘alaihi wasallam dan istri-istri serta keturunan beliau.

Monday, March 1, 2010

1 comments

SEXUAL TECHNIQUES

Before I start writing anything about sexual techniques, it is necessary to say that no rules and laws exist either in foreplay or in intercourse. The only laws and rules are the ones reached by the lovers by mutual and often unspoken understanding. Whatever is pleasing and satisfying to both the husband and the wife is right and proper; and whatever is mutually displeasing is wrong. The only I imitation to this general rule would be any shari'ah rule which goes against the wishes of the husband or the wife.

(A) Foreplay:

Man often forgets that woman also has been created with the same desires as himself. Asbagh bin Nubatah quotes Imam 'Ali that, "Almighty God created sexual desires in ten parts; then He gave nine parts to women and one to men." But then Allah also gave them "equal parts of shyness.'' (Wasa'il, vol. 14, p. 40) Many times this shyness makes the man ignore the desires of his wife.

Based on this reality, Islam emphasizes on foreplay. Imam 'Ali says, "When you intend to have sex with your wife, do not rush because the woman (also) has needs (which should be fulfilled)." (Wasa'il, vol. 14, p. 40) Sex without foreplay has been equated to cruelty. The Prophet said, "Three people are cruel: . ..a person who has sex with his wife before foreplay.'' (Wasa'il, vol. 14, p. 40) Another hadith equates sex without foreplay to animal behavior: "When anyone of you has sex with his wife, then he should not go to them like birds; instead he should be slow and delaying." (Wasa'il, vol. 14, p. 82) The Prophet said, "No one among you should have sex with his wife like animals; rather there should be a messenger between them." When asked about the messenger, he said, "It means kissing and talking." (Tahzibu'l-Ihya, vol. 3, p. 110) Imam Ja'far as-Sadiq has been quoted as follows, "...there should be mutual foreplay between them because it is better for sex." (Wasa'il, vol. 14, p. 82) The Prophet said, "...every play of a believer is void except in three cases: horse-riding, archery and mutual foreplay with his wife these are haqq." (Wasa'il, vol. 14, p. 83)

As for the role of a woman in sexual foreplay, the Imams have praised a wife who discards shyness when she is with her husband. A hadith was quoted earlier from Imam 'Ali which said that women have been given nine-tenths of the sexual desire but Allah has also given them nine-tenths of shyness. (See p. 32) I had promised in Chapter Two to explain the rationale behind this hadith. There might seem to be a contradiction in this act of God, but it is not so. Both the sexual desire and the shyness have been placed for very specific purpose. The sexual desire is to be unleashed, yes unleashed, when a woman is with her husband, but it must be shielded with shyness when she is with other people. This has been very eloquently explained by Imam Muhammad al-Baqir when he said, "The best woman among you is the one who discards the armor of shyness when she undresses for her husband, and puts on the armor of shyness when she dresses up again." (Wasa'il, vol. 14, p. 14-15) After all, modesty and chastity in public is the hallmark of a Muslim lady.

These sayings clearly show that the husband and the wife should feel completely free when they are engaged in mutual stimulation which is known as foreplay. There is nothing wrong, according to Islam, for a woman to be active and responsive during sex. This is diametrically opposed to the sexual morality of the Christian Western world before the sexual revolution. Russell says, "Western women of a generation or two ago can recall being warned by their mothers that sexual intercourse was an unpleasant duty which they owed to their husbands, and that they were 'to lie still and think of England'. (As quoted in Sex and Destiny, p. 94) What else but a sexual revolt could such a morality breed?

As for the Islamic shari'ah, all the mujtahids are unanimous in saying that the act of sexual foreplay in itself is mustahab (recommended). Likewise, it is recommended not to rush into sexual intercourse. (Al-'Urwah, p. 625) The operative word is mutual pleasure and satisfaction.

(B) Techniques of Foreplay:

As far as the methods of mutual stimulation in foreplay are concerned, the shari'ah allows the husband and the wife to see, kiss, touch, smell and stimulate any part of each other's body. Therefore, oral sex, as it is known in this part of the world is allowed. Imam Musa al-Kazim was once asked, "Can a person kiss his wife's vagina?" The Imam said, "No problem." (Wasa'il, vol. 14, p. 77; for similar views of present mujtahids see al-'Urwah, p. 625) The only restriction is that no foreign object should be used. And this restriction is quite understandable: nothing can really substitute the things Allah has created in our bodies!

The restriction I am placing on the use of foreign objects is based on the following hadith. 'Ubaydullah bin Zurarah says that he had an old neighbor who owned a young slave-girl. Because of his old age, he could not fully satisfy the young slave-girl during sexual intercourse. She would therefore ask him to place his fingers in her vagina as she liked it. The old man complied with her wishes even though he did not like this idea. So he requested 'Ubaydullah to ask Imam ' Ali ar-Riza (a. s.) about it. When 'Ubaydullah asked the Imam about it, the Imam said, "There is no problem as long as he uses any part of his own body upon her, but he should not use any thing other than his body on her." (Wasa'il, vol. 14, p. 77)

In an earlier discussion, we said that masturbation (i.e., self-stimulation of one's own sexual organ till emission of semen or orgasm) is not allowed. However, in the case of married persons, there is no problem if the wife stimulates her husband's penis till the emission of semen or the husband stimulates his wife's vagina till orgasm. (This issue has also been clearly mentioned by the late Ayatullah al-Khu'i in answer to some questions sent by an 'alim from London) This is allowed because it does not come under "self-stimulation;" it is stimulation by a lawful partner. The Qur'an clearly says that, "The believers are.. . those who protect their sexual organs except from their spouses." (23: 5-6) And stimulation of sexual organs by a lawful partner surely comes under the definition of protecting one's organ s "except from their spouses."

(C) Sexual Intercourse:

Is there any particular position for sexual intercourse which is forbidden in Islam? No! As far as the basic coital positions are concerned, there are no restrictions. I am using the term 'basic coital positions' for the positions known as the man above, face to face, woman above face to face; side position, face to face; rear-entry position in which the husband penetrates the vagina from the rear. Actually, the shari'ah has left it on the husband and the wife to explore and experiment as they wish.

In the early Islamic period, an event took place which clarified this issue for all. The people of Medina, influenced by the Jews, used man-above face to face position during sexual intercourse; whereas the Meccans liked to experiment various positions. After the migration of Muslims to Medina, a Meccan married a Medinan woman and wanted to have sex with her in his own way. The woman refused and said that he can have sex with her only in one position. The case was reported to the Prophet; so Allah revealed the verse saying "Your women are a tilth for you, so go in to your tilth as you like." (2:223) That is, in any position. (At-Tabataba'i, al-Mizan, vol. 3 (English translation) p. 319)

However, it is makruh to adopt a standing position, or to face the qiblah or keep it on the backside during the intercourse. It is advisable to refrain from the acrobatic positions given by some sexologists of the East and the West which might even cause physical harm. Remember, the basic rule is mutual pleasure and flexibility. If one partner does not like a particular position, then the other should yield to his or her feelings.

(D) Anal Intercourse:

The opinions of our mujtahids vary on the permissibility of anal intercourse. Before mentioning the preferred and correct view, I would like to explain why the mujtahids have differed in their opinions.

This variance in fatwas is because of the difference in the ahadith we have on this issue. There is a hadith, for example, from Imam Ja'far as-Sadiq quoting the Prophet that "The anus of women is haram for my community." (Wasa'il, vol. 14, p. 104) Now this hadith categorically forbids anal intercourse. But, according to 'Allamah al-Hilli and ash-Shahid ath-Thani, the chain of narrators of this hadith is not completely flawless. (See Hilli's Tazkiratu'l-Fuqaha, vol. 2, p. 576-7; Shahid's Masalik, vol. 2, p. 303) On the other hand for example, we have a hadith from 'Abdullah bin Abi Ya'fur whose chain of narrators is authentic in which Imam Ja'far as-Sadiq was questioned about a man who had had intercourse in the anus of his wife. The Imam said, "There is no problem in it if she agrees." (Wasa'il 'sh-Shi'ah, vol. 14, p. 103)

When faced which such conflicting ahadith, most mujtahids have tried to bring them together by taking the apparently more authentic hadith (which approves anal intercourse) as a qualifier for the ahadith which totally forbid such sex. And in conclusion, they say that the prohibition in such ahadith is not on the level of haram, instead it is on the level of makruh. (See ash-Shahid ath-Thani, Sharh Lum'ah, vol. 2, p. 68 and Masalik, vol. 1, p. 438-9)

This conclusion of theirs is supported by a third category of ahadith on this subject in which the Imams have clearly and strongly discouraged their followers from anal intercourse. An example can be found in the question asked by Safwan al-Jammal to Imam 'Ali ar-Riza (a.s.) in which the latter clearly expressed his personal dislike for such act. (Wasa'ilu 'sh-Shi'ah, vol. 14, p. 102-103)

Therefore the majority of the Shi'ah mujtahids have derived two conclusions: (l) that anal intercourse is not haram but strongly disliked (karahatan shadidah) provided the wife agrees to it. (2) and if she does not agree to it, then all mujtahids say that it is precautionarily wajib to refrain from it. (See the fatawa of all contemporary mujtahids in their annotations to al-'Urwatu'l-Wuthqa, p. 628)

With all due respect to the great mujtahids who hold the above opinion, I would like to present the preferred opinion. It is true that we have conflicting ahadith from our Imams on anal intercourse, but the ahadith which approve anal intercourse are not suitable for deriving an opinion. Why? Because, in the case of conflicting ahadith, the mujtahid has to contrast them with the Sunni view prevalent at the time when the ahadith were issued by the Imams. And, then, those which agree with the Sunni view are to be considered as statements issued under taqiyyah and, therefore, not suitable for use in ijtihad. (For this methodology, the specialist reader may refer to Shaykh Murtaza al-Ansari, Rasa'il, p. 464-468) Using this method of solving the conflicting ahadith gives strength to the prohibitive ahadith and brings us to the preferred view that anal intercourse is not allowed. (For further details on this view, the specialist reader may refer to the late Ayatullah Syed Rahat Husayn al-Golalpuri, al-Intisar fi hurmati'l-adbar, Lucknow, al-Wa'iz Safdar Press, 1354 AH. To know the views of some prominent Sunnis of the Early Islamic period who approved anal intercourse, the English readers can refer to at-Tabataba'i, al-Mizan vol. 3 (English translation) pp. 320-321) Probably, it was such a consideration which caused the late Ayatullah al-Khu'i to change his view on this issue. During the last decade of his life, Ayatullah al-Khu'i departed from the majority view and gave the ruling that it was precautionarily wajib to abstain from anal intercourse no matter whether the wife agrees to it or not. (See al-Khu'i, Minhaju 's-Salihiyn, vol. 1 (Beirut: 22nd edition) p. 64)

I would strongly advise against anal intercourse, and would like to end this section with the saying of Imam Ja'far as-Sadiq and Imam 'Ali ar-Riza about anal intercourse: "Woman is a means of your pleasure, therefore do not harm her." (Wasa'il, vol. 14, p. 101-102)

(E) Decency & Privacy

There was a time when people need not be reminded of some of the basic moral and ethical values, but now we are living in an era where moral values are changing like worn-out car tires!

One such issue is decency of dress at home and privacy at the time of sexual intercourse or intimate contact between husband and wife. There are some people in the West (of course, a minority) who think that it is okay, nay healthy, to stay naked in presence of their children! On a collective basis, they also organize nude camps. Why? So that the children will not think negatively about their own sexuality. Such parents also feel that there is nothing wrong in sexual intercourse in the presence of their children. This behavior is an example of the extreme reaction to the rigid Christian morality. To protect their children from associating sex with evil, some of these parents go to the extent of completely opening up to their children!

Such behavior is not only condemned by those who still abide by religious moral systems, it is equally condemned by those who are familiar with child psychology. A sexual manual read by millions of Westerners says, "Never involve children in adult sexual activities: militant and exhibitionist liberals who try to acclimatize children to the naturalness of sex by letting them in any level of their own sex lives probably do at least as much harm as was ever done by the prohibitive sex-is-dirty generation."

We have quite a few ahadith in which the Prophet and the Imams have emphasized that when you engage in sexual intercourse, make sure that no child (or, for that matter, any other person) sees you or hears you. Abu Basir quotes Imam Ja'far as-Sadiq as follows, "Be careful not to have sex with your wife while a child can see you. The Prophet used to dislike this (attitude) very strongly." (Wasa'il, vol. 14, p. 94-95) If a child sees and hears the parents engaged in sexual intercourse, he might go through a shocking psychological experience. It might also create a problem in his own adult life. The manual quoted earlier says, "Most young children are biologically programmed to interpret the sight or sound of adult coition as evidence of a violent assault (they are aware of it earlier than you would expect, so don't keep babies in the bedroom), and the awareness of mother-father sexual relations is on all counts far too explosive a matter to be monkeyed with in the interest of Reichian experiments."

Islam has laid down clear guide-lines about the privacy of adults. Referring to the children who have not yet reached the age of puberty (bulugh), the Qur'an says:

O you who believe! ... Those of you who have not yet reached puberty should ask you for permission (before entering your bedroom during) three times: before the dawn prayer, when you put off your garments at midday (for siesta), and after the night prayer these are three times of privacy for you. Besides (these three times), there is no blame on you or them if you go to one another (without announcing yourselves). Thus God makes clear to you the signs, and God is All-Knowing, Wise. (24:58)

Then referring to the children who have reached the age of puberty, the Qur'an says:

When your children reach puberty, they should ask your permission (at all times before entering your bedrooms) just as those who were before them had asked permission. Thus God makes clear to you the signs, and God is All-Knowing, Wise. (24:59)

These two verses give us the following rules about privacy within and without the family circles:

1. There are three times in a day night, early morning and afternoon which are considered as times of privacy.

2. The minor children should be taught that during times of privacy they are not allowed to enter the bedroom of their parents or adults without first asking their permission. Obviously, by minor we do not mean infants; we mean the children who can understand what is right and what is wrong. I would put that at age five and above. The parents will have to ingrain this teaching to their minor children gradually.

3. At other times, the children are free to come and go into the bedroom of their parents without asking for their permission. In retrospect, this means that the parents should be decently dressed at those other times.

4. As for the mature children and adults, the Qur'an is clear that they may enter the bedroom of their parents or other adults at all times only after asking their permission.

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5. DAYS & TIMES FOR SEX

(A) Is sex forbidden at any time in marriage ?

Yes, by considering the discomfort for the women during the monthly periods, Islam has forbidden both the husband and the wife from engaging in sexual intercourse during menstruation.

The Qur'an says:

They ask you about menstruation. Say: "Menstruation is a discomfort (for women). Do not establish sexual relations with them during the menses and do not approach them (sexually) until the blood stops. Then when they have cleansed themselves, you go into them as Allah has commanded you." (2:222)

According to the shari'ah, the duration of the monthly period is between three to ten days. If the bleeding was for less than three days, it is not menstruation; if it is for more than ten days, then it is menstruation for ten days and then it is counted as istihazah, irregular bleeding during which sex is permitted. (For further details, see my Ritual Ablutions for Women.)

The prohibition of sex during the periods is limited strictly to sexual intercourse; other intimate contact (with the exception of the vagina and anus) is allowed. However, it is better not to play with her body between the navel and the knees.

If a person who is engaged in sexual intercourse with his wife discovers that her period has begun, then he should immediately withdraw from her.

It is clear from the verse mentioned above (until the blood stops) that once the blood has stopped, intercourse becomes lawful even if the woman has not performed the major ritual ablution (ghusl). But on the basis of the subsequent sentence (then when they have cleansed themselves...), most mujtahids say that it is better to refrain from intercourse till she performs the ghusl or, at least, washes her private parts. (Wasa'il, vol. 1, p. 576)

Sexual intercourse is also not allowed during the post-natal bleeding (10 days), during daytime in the month of Ramadhan, and when a person is in ihram during the pilgrimage to Mecca. At all other times, sexual intercourse is allowed.

(B) Is it discouraged (makruh) to have sex at any time or on any day ?

There are certain ahadith which say that sexual intercourse during some days and at some times is makruh, but not haram.

These days and times are as follows:

i. during frightful natural occurrences, e.g., eclipse, hurricane, earthquake;

ii . from sunset till maghrib;

ii. from dawn till sunrise;

iii. the last three nights of lunar months;

iv. eve of the 15th of every lunar month;

v. eve of 10th Zil-hijjah;

vii. after becoming junub.

Some of these are self-explanatory: I don't think any one would be in the mood for sexual intercourse during a hurricane or earthquake. The second and third examples are of the prayer times; obviously, a Muslim is expected to spend that time in meditation and prayer. One must remember, firstly, that it is makruh, not haram, to have sexual intercourse at these times. Secondly, the ahadith for such issues have been accepted on basis of the qa'idatu 't-tasamuh mentioned earlier. Thirdly, the reasons given for this karahat are mostly about possible deformity of a child conceived at that time. By looking at these reasons, I am inclined to restrict this karahat only in cases of couples who plan to have children, and not extend it to those who practice birth control.

I would therefore advise the readers to be considerate to your spouse and not to put him or her in unnecessary tension; It your spouse is very sensitive about these makruh days then try to accommodate your likes and dislikes accordingly. Mutual understanding is the key.

(A) Are there days and times when sexual intercourse is recommended?

Yes we have certain ahadith which say that it is better to have sexual intercourse at these times:

i. Sunday night;

ii. Monday night;

iii. Wednesday night;

iv. Thursday noon;

v. Thursday night;

vi. Friday evening;

vii. whenever the wife wants to have sex.

Thursday and Friday are weekends in the Islamic calendar!

(A) Are there times when it is obligatory (wajib) to have sexual intercourse ?

Yes! It is wajib on man to have sex with his wife at least once in every four months; this is considered as one of the conjugal rights of the wife. This obligation stays in force unless there is a valid excuse or the wife waives her right.

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13. DUTIES OF OTHER FAMILY MEMBERS: Islamic Marriage (Nikaah) Handbook for Young Muslims, Muslim Wedding and Marriage Guide

Other household members should also know that the time and attention of the newly married ones will be divided and previous expectations may have to be changed to suit new circumstances. In joint families, the NaMehram ladies must observe hijab if they are not living in a separate house with their husbands.

Decency and Privacy

Holy Prophet Muhammad (s.a.w.) and the Imams have emphasized that when you engage in sexual intercourse, make sure that no child (or, for that matter, any other person) sees you or hears you. Abu Basir quotes Imam Jafar as-Sadiq (a.s.) as follows, "Be careful not to have sex with your wife while a child can see you. Holy Prophet Muhammad (s.a.w.) used to dislike this (attitude) very strongly." If a child sees and hears the parents engaged in sexual intercourse, he might go through a shocking psychological experience. It might also create a problem in his own adult life. Islam has laid down clear guidelines about the privacy of adults.

Holy Qur'an gives us the following rules about privacy within the family circles:

1. There are three times in a day: night, early morning and afternoon, which are considered as times of privacy.

2. The minor children should be taught that during times of privacy they are not allowed to enter the bedroom of their parents or adults without first asking their permission.

3. At other times, the children are free to come and go into the bedroom of their parents without asking for their permission. In retrospect, this means that the parents should be decently dressed at those other times.

4. As for the mature children and adults, the Holy Qur'an is clear that they may enter the bedroom of their parents or other adults at all times only after asking their permission.

Conclusion: The Islamic way of life not only assures happiness and satisfaction of an individual but the society as a whole benefits by implementing the laws of Shariah. Since the society consists of families and families come into being by matrimonial relationships it is necessary that this basic unit of society is properly understood and protected from all that threatens its existence.

14. GLOSSARY OF ISLAMIC TERMS:

HARAAM: forbidden, prohibited.
IHTIYAT WAJIB: precautionary wajib.
JA'IZ, HALAAL, MUBAH: permitted, allowed, lawful, legal.
MARJA (pl. MARAJI): A high-ranking mujtahid.
MAKRUH: reprehensible, disliked, discouraged.
MUJTAHID: or FAQIH (pl. FUQAHA): a jurist.
SUNNAT or MUSTAHAB: recommended, desirable, better.
WAJIB: obligatory, necessary, incumbent.

15. BIBLIOGRAPHY:

01. Ideal Marriage - Van de Velde
02. Marriage and Morals in Islam - Sayyid Muhammad Rizvi
03. Marriage and Family Ethics - Ibrahim Amini
04. Spouse Selection - Ali Akber Mazaheri
05. Youth and Morals - S. Mujtaba Musavi Lari
06. Sexual Ethics in Islam and in the Western World - M. Mutahhari
07. Islamic Law - Ayatullah Seestani
08. Tahzeebul Islam - Allamah Majlisi
09. Adaabe Mujaameaat - Peermohammed Ebrahim Trust
10. A Gift for the Youth - Shabeeb Rizvi

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12. MUTUAL RIGHTS AND BEHAVIOUR:Islamic Marriage (Nikaah) Handbook for Young Muslims, Muslim Wedding and Marriage Guide

Remember that the bride has just left her loved ones. She might be new to this place. So she deserves consideration and a chance to adjust herself in the new environment.

Mulla Mohsin Faiz Kashani in his book, Al Waafi in the chapter of "A Woman's right over her Husband" writes that it is narrated from the Holy Prophet Muhammad (s.a.w.) that some people inquired from him regarding the rights of a wife over her husband. He (s.a.w.) answered, "He should overlook her minor faults and if she commits a major mistake then he should forgive her."

Shahab Abdo Rabbeh relates that I asked Imam Jafar as-Sadiq (a.s.) concerning the rights of a woman over her husband. He (a.s.) answered, "He should fulfill all her basic necessities and must not terrorize her by getting angry time and again. i.e. after fulfilling her needs, is kind and affectionate towards her, then I swear by Allah, he has fulfilled his wife's rights."

The importance of observing the rights of a wife can be gauged from the hadith of the Messenger of Allah (s.a.w.) wherein he says, "The best among you is the one who observes the rights of his wife in the best possible way and I am the best among you to observe the rights of my wives."

A. The Importance of helping one's wife at home

One day the Messenger of Allah (s.a.w.) paid a visit to the house of Imam Ali and Fatimah Zahra (s.a.). He saw that Imam Ali (a.s.) was sieving the pulses and Fatemah (s.a.) was busy cooking. On observing this Holy Prophet Muhammad (s.a.w.) remarked, "O Ali, I do not speak except what is revealed to me. Anyone who helps his wife in her domestic affairs obtains a reward of one year of worship equal to the amount of hair on his body. This year of worship will be as if he has fasted during its days and prayed during its nights. Allah will reward him equal to the reward of all the patient ones, Hazrat Dawood (a.s.) and Hazrat Isa (a.s.)."

B. Consequence of Ill Behavior with the Family

Imam Reza (a.s.) says, "Every man should strive to make his wife and children comfortable according to his capacity for if he is strict and unkind to them and because their rights are being deprived they will desire his death."

When Saad ibne Maaz, the great companion of Holy Prophet Muhammad (s.a.w.) expired, he (s.a.w.) himself participated in the funeral procession and shouldered his bier quite a few times with considerable respect. Then he laid it in the grave and buried him with his own hands. On seeing the zeal of Holy Prophet Muhammad (s.a.w.), the mother of Saad cried, "Congratulations, O my son on gaining paradise." On hearing this the Messenger of Islam retorted, "Wait, do not make haste in divine affairs. Your son is in great agony and anguish at the moment." When the people inquired about the reason for this condition he (s.a.w.), replied, "He behaved very badly with his family members."

C. Rights of the Wife According to Imam Sajjad (a.s.)

"It is the right of your wife that you should know that Allah has made her for you a tranquility and comfort (in worry), and a friend and shield (against sins).

And likewise, it is incumbent upon both of you to thank Allah for your partner and to know that (the spouse) is a grace of Allah upon you. And it is obligatory to have good fellowship with this grace of Allah (i.e. wife), and to respect her and be kind to her, although your rights upon her are greater and her obedience to you is final in all your likes and dislikes so long as it is not a sin. So she has the right of love and fellowship, and a place of repose (i.e. house) so that natural desires may be fulfilled, and this in itself is a great duty. And there is no strength but by Allah."

D. Husband's rights over his Wife

The rights of a husband over his wife are numerous. The most important among them is related to having physical relationship with her. The duty of a wife is to submit herself physically before her husband. This right of the husband i.e. of having a physical relationship with his wife, as and when he wants, is obviously a reciprocation of her feelings. In absence of her husband the duties of the wife include the protection of his rights, status, wealth and respect. She must not spend his wealth without his permission nor must she reveal his secrets. Rather she should be his closest confidante.

She must not let anybody inside the house without his permission in his absence. For, doing so would lead to a lot of misunderstandings, which would have drastic repercussions on the sacred contract of marriage. She must value his ideas, plans and provisions that he has prepared for her and other family members and obey him under all circumstances. She must not disobey him come what may nor must she do any such thing which detracts him. Rather she must try her best to attract his attention towards herself by which both of them can lead a life of harmony.

Imam Muhammad al-Baqir (a.s.) says that once a lady inquired from Holy Prophet Muhammad (s.a.w.) regarding the rights a husband enjoys over his wife. He (s.a.w.) said, "First and foremost is that she should obey him and refrain from disobedience. She must not donate anything from his house without his permission nor can she keep recommended fasts without his approval. She must NEVER deny him his physical rights nor deprive him of its pleasures. If she steps out of the house without his permission, the angels of the heaven and the earth, of wrath and mercy, curse her till she returns to her house."

E. The Importance of obeying one's Husband

Imam Jafar as-Sadiq (a.s.) says that a group of people paid a visit to the Messenger of Islam and said, "O Prophet of Allah, we have seen such people who prostrate before each other." Holy Prophet Muhammad (s.a.w.) answered, "If at all I could permit prostration before anyone except Allah, the Creator, I would have ordered the wives to prostrate before their husbands."

Holy Prophet Muhammad (s.a.w.) is also reported to have said, "A wife who gives her husband water to drink attains a reward of one year of worship, a year whose nights were passed in prayers and days in fasting. In exchange of one drop of water which she provides for her husband one city is built in paradise for her and sins of sixty years are forgiven."

The author of Makaremul Akhlaq narrates on the authority of Imam Muhammad al-Baqir (a.s.), "The Jehaad of women is to be patient while facing the difficulties of life with their husbands."

F. Stricture Against Foul Language

Holy Prophet Muhammad (s.a.w.) said, "Any woman who converses indignantly with her husband, thereby hurting his sentiments, none of her deeds either obligatory or recommended will be accepted from her until and unless her husband does not express his satisfaction with her. Even if this woman fasts during the days, prays during the nights, frees slaves or donates the best of horses in the way of Allah, she will be first to enter the fire of hell. Similar will be the fate of the husband who usurps the rights of his wife."

G. A Summary of Mutual Rights

In his book Principles of Marriage and Family Ethics, Professor Ibrahim Amini has explained in much detail the duties of husband and wives, often quoting incidents to emphasize his arguments.

Part One deals with the duties of Women: According to the author the purpose of marriage is that the wife lives with her husband. She must be kind and should respect her husband. She must not complain unnecessarily. She must have a pleasant disposition. She must be a comfort for her husband and appreciate him. She must not look for his shortcomings. She must observe Islamic Hijab. She must forgive her husband's mistakes. She must learn to cope with her husband's relatives. She must help her husband to make progress. She must not be unduly suspicious.

Part Two deals with the duties of Men: The man is the guardian of the family. He should take care of his wife and be loving towards her. He must respect her and be well mannered. He also must not complain unnecessarily. He should overlook her mistakes. He should not be suspicious about her. He should be clean at home also. He must help in the household chores and assist in bringing up children.

Sunday, July 12, 2009

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Appendix D - Introduction to Islam by Dr. M. Hamidullah

Appendix D

An excerpt from "Introduction to Islam" by Dr. M. Hamidullah

108. Speaking of a strictly temporal act, such as a tax or a war, one pays taxes to the government. It should not be astonishing that Islam considers this act as one of the five basic elements of Faith, as important as belief, worship, fasting and pilgrimage! The significance is deep: One unites the spiritual and the temporal in a single whole, and one pays the tax not as a corvee or even as a social duty, but solely for the sake of God. When this duty of paying taxes becomes fixed in the mind as something sacred, a duty unto God from Whom nothing can be concealed and Who is, moreover, capable of resuscitating us and demanding our account, one can easily understand with what care and scruple a believer will pay his dues in the performance of this obligation. Similarly, ware is forbidden in Islam except in the way of God; and it is not difficult to understand that such a soldier is more apt to be humane and will not seek any earthly gain in the course of risking his life. By spiritualizing the temporal duties, Islam has had no other motives but strengthening the spiritual side of man, who in, this manner, far from seeking the material advantage of the material thing, aspires thereby to obtain only the pleasure of God. The Prophet has said: Ostentation is a sort of polytheism (shirk); and the reason as explained by Al-Ghazzali, is the following: if somebody worships or fasts for ostentation, it is shirk (polytheism), a worship of one's self, not of God Almighty; on the contrary, if one even cohabits with one's own wife - not for the carnal pleasure, but for performing the duty imposed by God, then that is an act of piety and devotion, meriting the pleasure of and reward from God, as the Prophet has observed (cf. Ibn Hanbal, V, 154, 167, 187, etc.)

Endnotes

1. p.b.u.h. is the short form for "peace be upon him" which is an expression used by Muslims to indicate reverence towards the holy Prophet Muhammad.

2. The tomb of the Prophet Zakariya alaihi-salam (may Allah be pleased with him), is located in the great Omayyad Mosque in Aleppo which is a city in northern Syria.

3. From "The Sayings of Muhammad" by Allama Sir Abdullah Al-Mamun Al-Suhrawardy, pg 41. Charles E. Tuttle Company, Boston 1992.

4. Ibid, pg. 42

5. 'The Proper Conduct of Marriage in Islam' (Chapter Adab-an-Nikah) from Book 12 of Ihya'ulum ad-din by Imam al-Ghazzali. This is an English translation from the original Arabic by Muhtar Holland and published byAl-Baz Publishing Inc.

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Appendix C - Adab an Nikah

Appendix C

This is a grammatically edited excerpt from the chapter 'Adab an-Nikah' from Imam Ghazzali's 'Ihya Ulum-id-din' translated by Fazlul-Karim. Also blended with this translation is an excerpt from 'The Proper Conduct of Marriage in Islam' and this is a translation of the same chapter by Muhtar Holland.

Benefits of marriage

There are five benefits: (1) to beget children, (2) to control sexual urges, (3) to obtain peace of mind, (4) to increase divine service, and (5) to gain rewards for duties to family. [Item (4) and (5) are not dealt with in this Appendix.]

(1) To beget children. This is the main purpose for marriage. The aim is to engender and preserve the human race. Four objectives are accomplished through procreation: - (i) to increase mankind (ii) Islam is propagated by increasing the number of followers of the Prophet, p.b.u.h. (iii) parents will hope to leave behind children who will pray for them (iv) and if a child dies before the parents, the prayers of the child in Paradise will be very beneficial for the parents.

The first objective is very subtle and not easily comprehended by man. It is a natural truth and the following is its proof. Take for example a landowner who has generously given a servant a large amount of seed and the tools for cultivation, and who has also given this servant land for cultivation. Now if the servant refuses to till this land and instead allows it to remain uncultivated, useless and dormant, and furthermore, if he also carelessly destroys the seeds, it is clear then that this servant will become an object of wrath by the landowner. Similarly God has created man and woman with the wherewithal to produce and raise children. The uterus is the fertile field and both the male and female organs are the tools for cultivation. He also created sexual passion in both the male and female for the bearing of children through the use of these organs. This is proof of God's design. The Prophet has clearly substantiated this when he said "Marry and keep a family". He who does not marry, destroys these seeds and allows these tools to lie useless and dormant and he thereby goes against God's wishes. Infanticide has also been prohibited by God for this reason.

From Muhtar Holland's Translation: [Pages 17 & 18 ]

If the sole motive for marriage were to ward off lust, the plague-stricken Mu'adh would hardly have cried: "Find me a wife, lest I meet Allah as a celibate!" You might perhaps object: "Surely Mu'adh had no expectation of children at that moment, so how do you explain his desire for marriage?" but to this I would reply as follows: The child is produced by sexual intercourse. Intercourse is brought about by the prompting of sexual appetite, which is an involuntary impulse. The only voluntary contribution a man can make is to procure the stimulus to sexual desire, and this can normally be anticipated. One who has contracted a marriage has therefore performed his duty and done what he had to do; the rest is beyond his own volition.

That is why marriage is recommended even for the impotent, for the stirring of desire is hidden and not susceptible to observation. Indeed, the recommendation to marry extends even to the totally castrated person who can never expect children, in much the same way as a bald man is recommended to pass the razor across his pate as others do (on Pilgrimage), following the example of the righteous ancestors. In the same vein, the practices known as ramal and idtiba are still recommended during the Pilgrimage. The original purpose of these was to demonstrate stamina in the face of the unbelievers, the imitation of this display of fortitude became the model conduct for later generations.

Such are the considerations in forming their severe disapproval of abstinence from marriage, even in cases were sexual appetite is enfeebled. [end of Muhtar Holland's translation]

(2) The second benefit of marriage

The second benefit of marriage is to be safe from the machinations of the devil and to satisfy lust and hence protect the private parts. The Prophet said: "If a man marries, half of his religion is saved. Fear God for the remaining half." The Prophet said: "Whoever among you is able to marry, should marry, and whoever is not able to marry, is recommended to fast, for fasting diminishes his sexual power." The pleasure which lies within sexual intercourse is an example of happiness in the afterlife. There is no benefit derived from a thing in which there is no pleasure.

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(3) The third benefit of marriage

Marriage brings peace of mind as love grows between the couple. Peace of mind is necessary for divine service. God says: "It is He Who has created you from a single person, and He has created from him his wife, in order that he might enjoy the pleasure of living with her." Hazrat Ali said: "Give peace to the mind because it becomes blind when it becomes disturbed." There is a Hadith which says that there are three special times for a wise man: - he speaks secretly with his Lord at one time, he takes account of his actions at another time, and he occupies himself with food and drink at another time. In another narration, a wise man is not desirous except in three matters: to earn his livelihood for the next world, to earn his livelihood for this world, and to taste the pleasure of lawful things. The Prophet said: "There is effort in every action and there is struggle in every effort. He who adopts struggle goes towards my Sunnah and guidance. The Prophet said: Upon complaint to Gabriel about the lessening of my sexual passion, he advised me to take Harisah. The Prophet said: Three things are dear to me among earthly matters - perfume, woman and prayer, the latter is coolness to my eyes. This comfort is necessary for peace of mind.

From Muhtar Holland's translation: [Pages 20-22 . . . Conclusion]

He who obeys his master out of the desire to please Him is not the same as one who obeys merely in quest of deliverance from the perils of this agency.

Passion and procreation are both divinely ordained, and there is a link between the two. It would be wrong to say that the purpose is pleasure and the child is a necessary by-product (as, for instance, relieving oneself is a necessary consequence of eating, but not an end in itself.) No, the begetting of children is the aim of nature and the divine Wisdom, while sexual appetite is merely an incentive thereto.

By my life, there is in sexual appetite yet another dispensation, apart from the impetus to procreate, namely the joy experienced in satisfying it. If only that delight were lasting, it would be unparalleled by any other joy. It gives a foretaste of the delights we are promised in Paradise, for the prospect of a bliss we had never tasted would fail to impress. The prospect of sexual intercourse would hardly stimulate the impotent, nor would the pleasures of kingship and dominion serve to excite the interest of the very young. One advantage of worldly pleasures is that the hope of enjoying them permanently in Paradise can act as a spur to the worship of Allah.

Consider this Wisdom, this Mercy, this divine Providence! See how two lives derive benefit through this one appetite: an outer life and an inner life. The outer life is the life a man leads through the continuance of his line, which constitutes a kind of survival, while the inner life is the Otherworldly life. The bliss [of sexual satisfaction], deficient because it is so ephemeral, thus stimulates a desire for perfect bliss, for bliss everlasting, and serves as an incentive to the worship which lead to its attainment. Desiring this so ardently, the creature finds it easier to persevere in the course that will bring him to such felicity in Paradise.

Relaxation and recreation for the soul [pg. 27 Muhtar Holland's Translation]

This [third benefit of marriage] is obtained by enjoying the company and sight of one's wife, and by shared amusement, whereby the heart is refreshed and strengthened in worship; for the lower self (nafs) is prone to boredom and inclined to shun duty as something unnatural to it. If constrained to persevere in something repugnant, it jibes and backs away, whereas if revived occasionally by pleasures it acquires new strength and vigor. In familiarity with women, one finds the relaxation to banish cares and to refresh the heart.

The souls of the pious need legitimate recreation, which is why the Exalted One said:

"That he may rest with her." [Qur'an 7:189]

[end of Muhtar Holland's translation]

Sexual etiquette in marriage

At the beginning of sexual intercourse, pronounce the name of God by reciting "Bismillah" and recite the Takbir and Tahlil after Chapter Ikhlas and say 'O God, if Thou takest out semen from my back, make it a good issue.' The Prophet said: 'In the name of Allah. O Allah! Protect us from Satan and also protect what you bestow upon us (i.e. the coming offspring) from Satan, and if it is destined that they should have a child then, Satan will never be able to harm that offspring." The result is that the devil will not be able to injure a child that is born from this intercourse.

Don't face the Ka'bah at the time of intercourse and cover your body and the body of your wife. The Prophet used to cover his head, close his mouth and say to his wife, 'Take peace.' There is a Hadith which says: When anyone of you comes to his wife, let him not fall suddenly upon her, but let him speak words of love to her and then kiss each other. The Prophet said: Let none of you fall suddenly upon his wife like a lower animal. Let him send the Envoy before cohabitation. Someone asked 'What is the Envoy O Prophet?' He said, 'kisses and words of love.' The Prophet said: In three matters, the weakness of a male is disclosed. Firstly if a lover meets his beloved, and then they separate without enquiring into their mutual condition and health; secondly, rejecting the honour which someone wishes to pay him [i.e., by rejecting a gift which was offered]; thirdly to engage in sexual intercourse with the wife or the female who is legally permitted, without talking to her or kissing her or by being unable to restrain the ejaculation of semen before that of his wife.

It is not commendable to cohabit with the wife on the first, middle and last days of the lunar month. It is commendable to cohabit on a Friday evening. After ejaculation, the husband should let his body lay some time upon his wife until she climaxes, as she is slower to climax. It is painful for her to be separated from her husband once her sexual passion has been aroused.

A young husband should enjoy sexual intercourse with his wife once every four days. To preserve the character of the wife, this may be increased or decreased. Sexual intercourse with the wife at the time of her menstruation is unlawful. However, it is lawful to enjoy her without sexual intercourse e.g. enjoy the region beneath the petticoat, or if there be such a need, even use the wife's hand for his ejaculation and stop short of actual copulation [in Arabic terminology, this is known as jima' bil yad, which means 'intercourse by hand.'] God says: "Your wives are a tilth unto you; so go to your tilth when and how you will." A man may keep company with his wife during her menstrual period for eating, resting/sleeping [without copulation] or other purposes. He is not obliged to avoid her.

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Appendix C - Adab an-Nikah

Appendix C

Benefits of marriage

From Muhtar Holland's Translation: [Pages 17 & 18 ]

Such are the considerations in forming their severe disapproval of abstinence from marriage, even in cases were sexual appetite is enfeebled. [end of Muhtar Holland's translation]

(2) The second benefit of marriage

(3) The third benefit of marriage

From Muhtar Holland's translation: [Pages 20-22 . . . Conclusion]

He who obeys his master out of the desire to please Him is not the same as one who obeys merely in quest of deliverance from the perils of this agency.

Relaxation and recreation for the soul [pg. 27 Muhtar Holland's Translation]

The souls of the pious need legitimate recreation, which is why the Exalted One said:

"That he may rest with her." [Qur'an 7:189]

[end of Muhtar Holland's translation]

Sexual etiquette in marriage

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Appendix B - Introduction to Islam - Dr. M. Hamidullah

Appendix B

Excerpt from: "Introduction to Islam" by Dr. M. Hamidullah

402. It is true that Islam permits polygamy, but on this point Muslim law is more elastic and more in harmony with the requirements of society than the other systems of law which do not permit polygamy in any case. Supposing there is a case in which a woman has young children, and falls chronically ill, becoming incapable of doing the household work. The husband has no means of employing a maid-servant for the purpose, not to speak of the natural requirements of conjugal life. Supposing also that the sick woman gives her consent to her husband to take a second wife, and that a woman is found who agrees to marry the individual in question. Western law would rather permit immorality than a legal marriage to bring happiness to this afflicted home.

403. In fact, Muslim law is nearer to reason. For, it admits polygamy when a woman herself consents to such a kind of life. The law does not impose polygamy, but only permits it in certain cases. We have just remarked that it depends solely on the agreement of the woman. This is true of the first wife as well as the second one in prospect. It goes without saying that the second woman may refuse to marry a man who has already one wife; we have seen that no one can force a woman to enter into a marriage tie without her own consent. If the woman agrees to be a "co-wife" it is not the law which should be considered as cruel and unjust with regard to women and as favouring only men. As to the first wife, the act of polygamy depends on her. For, at the time of her marriage, she may demand the acceptance and insertion, in the document of the nuptial contract, or the clause that her husband would practise monogamy. Such a condition is as valid as any other condition of a legal contract. If a woman does not want to utilize this right of hers, it is not legislation which would oblige her to do that. We have just spoken of exceptional cases; and the law must have possible remedies. Polygamy is not the rule, but an exception; and this exception has multifarious advantages, social as well as other - the details would be burdensome here - and Islamic law need not be shy of this elasticity.

404. In the religious law of antiquity, there is no restriction to the number of wives a man may have. All the Biblical prophets were polygamous. Even in Christianity which has become synonymous with monogamy, Jesus Christ himself never uttered a word against polygamy; on the other hand, there are eminent Christian theologians, like Luther, Malanchthon, Bucer, etc., who would not hesitate to deduce the legality of polygamy from the parable of the virgins spoken of in the Gospel of Matthew (25:1-12) for Jesus Christ envisages there the possibility of the marriage of one man with as many as ten girls simultaneously. If the Christians do not want to profit by the permissions (which the founder of their religion seems to have given them), the law is not changed for all that. This is true of the Muslims also, whose law is moreover the only one in history which expressly limits the maximum permissible number of polygamous wives. (For Christian theory and practice, as well as for general discussion, cf. also Encyclopedia Britannica, under the articles, Marriage, and Polygamy; Westermarck, History of Human Marriage, 3 Vols.)

***

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In a delightful report about how Imam Abu Hanifah received his name (his original name was Numan bin Thaabit bin Zuta bin Mah), an account of why the wife is forbidden to take more than one husband is recounted. 'Abu Hanifah' is an unusual name because it means 'the father of Hanifah', and Hanifah was his daughter. It was not the custom in those days to do this. Normally, the name would be 'the father of the name of a son.' How this came about is quite edifying. One day the great Imam Abu Hanifah was asked a question that, for the first time in his illustrious career, he was unable to answer. The question was, "Why were women forbidden to marry more than one husband at a time?" To make a long story short, Abu Hanifah's daughter said that she knew the answer and would solve this question if her father would make a promise to her that if she succeeded in solving this problem, he would then assure her a place in history. Abu Hanifah agreed. So she gathered a group of women together and gave each of them a cup. Then she brought in a large bowl of milk and asked each of them to dip their cups in the milk and to fill their cups. They did so. She then asked them to pour back the milk into the bowl. They did this too. She then asked them to re-fill their cups taking back only their own milk that they had poured into the bowl. This, obviously, was impossible to do. Hanifah had clearly demonstrated the kind of predicament that would be created if a woman had several husbands. With more than one husband, if she were to become pregnant, she would have exceptional difficulties determining who the actual father was. Identifying parentage and lineage would then be insurmountable for the offspring. Imam Abu Hanifah was so pleased with her answer that he took the name 'Abu Hanifah', 'the father of Hanifah', so his daughter did indeed earn a place in history.

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Marriages of the Holy Prophet - Appendix A

Appendix A

From "Life of Muhammad" by A.H. Hamid Siddiqui. Hilal Publications, Calcutta 1981. Pages 243-247.

Marriages of the Holy Prophet

"He was hardly twenty-five years of age when he married Khadijah, who was fifteen years older than himself. It was with her and her alone that he passed all the years of his youth and manhood until she died three years before Hijra, when he was already a man of fifty. After the sad demise of Khadijah, he again went in for a widow, this time a helpless one in great distress. She was one of the earliest converts to Islam who had suffered many hardships for the cause of Truth.

The Holy Prophet married A'ishah, the daughter of his devoted friend Abu Bakr. She was the only virgin wife of Muhammad (peace be upon him).

Events took a very serious turn in Medina. The enmity of the Quraysh resulted in armed battles in which so many of the noble Muslims fell as martyrs. It was, therefore, the bounden duty of the Holy Prophet and his companions to alleviate the sufferings of the widows and the orphans who had been deprived of their husbands and fathers. Muhammad (peace be upon him) undertook the major burden on himself and married Hafsa, daughter of 'Umar, whose husband had died in the battle of Badr. It was on this ground of clemency and compassion that the Holy Prophet married Zaynab, the daughter of Khuzaimah, who had been deprived of her husband in Uhud. Her parents were non-Muslims living in Mecca and after the martyrdom of her husband, there was none to take care of her. The next lady to enter the hospitable household of the Holy Prophet was Umm Salamah whose husband had received fatal injuries in the battle of Uhud and died leaving behind a pregnant widow and a daughter. The Prophet was moved by her pitiable condition and honoured her by taking her as his wife. The events relating to the marriage of Zaynab bint Jahsh have been discussed in great detail in the foregoing pages and it has been established that this marriage was governed by some important social considerations, i.e. to obliterate the customs of adoptive affinity and also to remove the false notion then prevalent in society that the divorce of a noble lady by a freed slave undermined her prestige.

Besides these widows of his faithful followers, whom it fell to his lot to take under his protection and share their sufferings and sorrows, the Holy Prophet also took three widows of his enemies in marriage. The entry of these three ladies, Juwayriyah, Maymuna and Safiyyah (may Allah be pleased with them) in the house of the Holy Prophet, became the means whereby relations with various tribes were cemented and this is how hostilities came to an end.

It is quite evident that the marriages of the Holy Prophet were governed mainly by the feeling of compassion for the widows of his faithful followers, who had no means to fall back upon after they were bereft of the love and care of their husbands. This fact has been acknowledged even by the critics of the Prophet. "It would be remembered, however," says Bosworth Smith, "that most of Muhammad's marriages may be explained, at least, as much by his pity for the forlorn condition of the persons concerned, as by other motives."

Other marriages were contacted from the motives of policy, in order to conciliate the heads of rival factions.

Then there was also one more consideration, in no way less important than those discussed earlier, which led to these marriages. Muhammad (peace be upon him) was the bearer of God's message not only for men, but also for women. The womenfolk needed the prophetic guidance, training and instruction in the same way as the males. The Holy Prophet was fully cognizant of the need of Muslim society. He had, therefore, in the best interest of the Ummah, endeavored to create a new leadership amongst women, which, like its counterpart amongst men could, by precept and example, help the formation of a new type of womanhood representing the teachings of Islam. How could this objective be achieved without first preparing the most perfect specimen of Muslim womanhood. The Holy Prophet allowed some women, belonging to different social groups, having different tastes and tendencies and different intellectual standards to enter his household as his wives and then by his close personal contact, nurture and train their God-given faculties so perfectly in accordance with the teachings of Islam that they could serve as pillars of light not only for the womenfolk of the Islamic commonwealth, but for the whole of womankind. One or two woman could not undertake this heavy responsibility. A whole group was required to meet this need.

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Moreover, there is a good deal of difference in the nature of training essential for male and female. Man's life is dominated by social activities, whereas the natural sphere of woman's work is primarily her home. It is the wife alone who shares with the husband even the most secret affairs of life. The Holy Prophet could not prepare the specimen of Islamic womanhood unless he allowed some ladies to enter the innermost chambers of his domestic life. In view of the teachings of Islam, with regard to seclusion of sexes, only the noble wives of the Holy Prophet could be accommodated on this plane and mankind owes a deep debt of gratitude to these noble ladies that they communicated to us most faithfully, the sacred account of the Prophet's private life, which, like his public career, had so many facets and has been made a model pattern for the believers, both men and women. The injunction of the Qur'an: 'Verily in the Apostle of Allah, you have the best example' (33:2) covers not only one aspect of his sacred life, but his whole life . It was with a view to achieving this objective, i.e., the authentic transmission of the Prophet's home life to the people that a few noble ladies were made to enter his house as his wives.

The Qur'anic verse: 'It is not allowed to take wives after this, nor to change them for others (33:52) implies that the Holy Prophet, like all his other acts, contacted those marriages perfectly in accordance with the will of the Lord. There was a divine purpose behind them and when it was achieved, a restriction was place upon him.

That the Prophet married these ladies as a religious necessity can well be judged from the fact that he spent his youth in the company of one wife, Khadijah only. At the age of forty he was commissioned as a Prophet, and during the first twelve years of his prophethood, when he had only to instil in the minds of the people the fundamentals of faith, i.e., Oneness of God, apostlehood of Muhammad, life after death, he did not feel the necessity of marrying any other lady. After the death of Khadijah, he married Sawda, a widow of advanced age. But with the migration to Medina when Islamic society was established, the Muslims were required to conform their social and personal behaviour to the teachings of Islam, revelations for practical guidance in all walks of life came from Allah. These had to be explained by the life example of the holy Prophet. There was not one problem, but numerous problems concerning all phases of life that needed solving at every step. How the holy Prophet solved them must be made known to the people as it is also an integral part of the faith for 'he does not speak of his own desire' (Qur'an 53:3) It is God who speaks through him in whatever he utters by way of spiritual guidance or practical legislation. Now, whatever the Holy Prophet said or did in public could easily be conveyed to the other people for their guidance. But what about his private life which was equally important and divinely inspired and had to serve as an example for the Believers? It is through the noble wives of the holy Prophet that the Muslims learnt the teachings of Islam in their personal concerns. It was not an ordinary work, but an important task of vast magnitude which was admirably accomplished by these pious ladies. (Allah be pleased with them). How can these facts be justifiably ignored in the matter of Muhammad's marriages?

It is strange indeed that the western critics of Islam and of the holy Prophet in their sordid endeavors to malign Muhammad (peace be upon him) close their eyes to all those illuminating facts which prove that his was a life of perfect sublimity and single-minded devotion to Allah, absolutely free from the taint of base desires. It is narrated on the authority of Jabir b. 'Abd Allah that Abu Jahl and some of the chiefs of the Quraysh approached the holy Prophet and said:

" If you are anxious for leadership, we are prepared to declare you our leader, if you need riches, we would collect for you an enormous amount of wealth that will suffice not only for you but even for your descendants; if you are impelled by sexual urge, you may choose ten beautiful damsels out of the whole tribe of Quraysh. The holy Prophet kept silent and did not utter a word. When their talks concluded, the holy Prophet recited the following verse of the Qur'an:

Ha Mim! A revelation from the Beneficent, the Merciful; A Book of which the verses are made plain, an Arabic Qur'an for people who know and the bearer of glad tidings and a warner: Yet most of them turn aside so that they hearken not. [Qur'an 41:4-4]

The holy Prophet recited these verses of the Qur'an and concluded them with the following verse:

Then if they still turn away, say thou: I warn you of calamity of the 'Ad and Thamud. [Qur'an 51: 13]

Even this single event is enough to prove Muhammad's immense love for Allah, his devotion to his sacred mission and the insignificance in his eyes the worldly pleasures. Allurement could not distract him, even for a moment, form the noble cause for which he stood and suffered all kinds of hardships and privations. No opportunity could be more attractive than that this offered by the chiefs of Quraysh for the satisfaction of sensuous pleasures, if he were so inclined."

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Wednesday, June 2, 2010

Kamasutra In Islam [30. Ar Ruum: 21] And among the signs of His power is that He created for you wives

Kamasutra Dalam Islam [30. Ar Ruum: 21] Dan di antara tanda-tanda kekuasaan-Nya ialah Dia menciptakan untukmu isteri

Monday, March 1, 2010

SEXUAL TECHNIQUES

5. DAYS & TIMES FOR SEX

13. DUTIES OF OTHER FAMILY MEMBERS: Islamic Marriage (Nikaah) Handbook for Young Muslims, Muslim Wedding and Marriage Guide

12. MUTUAL RIGHTS AND BEHAVIOUR:Islamic Marriage (Nikaah) Handbook for Young Muslims, Muslim Wedding and Marriage Guide

Sunday, July 12, 2009

Appendix D - Introduction to Islam by Dr. M. Hamidullah

Appendix D

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Appendix C - Adab an Nikah

Appendix C

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Appendix C - Adab an-Nikah

Appendix C

Appendix B - Introduction to Islam - Dr. M. Hamidullah

Appendix B

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Marriages of the Holy Prophet - Appendix A

Appendix A

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