Anal sex , Sex during menstruation and nifas, Sex that would be harmful or prolong recovery from an illness

Oral Sex Is oral sex permitted?
Books of fiqh tend to be quite dry when it comes to bedroom behavior. What you usually find is in the form "everything is permissible, except for x, y, and z" instead of a detailed checklist of things to try if you wish. While the traditional approach of generality is fine as a teaching tool for students of knowledge who would be asked specific questions, it is less effective when laymen have no one to ask, when the only people available to ask mean well and know a bit more than the questioner but are laymen themselves, or when laymen go to the books directly.
So, since the issue of oral sex is frequently asked it seems necessary to give a general answer. I apologize that the questioner is going to get less and more than he originally asked for.

The basic list of things that are unlawful between husband and wife include:

• Anal sex
• Sex during menstruation and nifas
• Sex that would be harmful or prolong recovery from an illness

When books talks about what is lawful, they typically mention that a husband and wife may pleasure one another in any way they wish other than the above mentioned things. Although not specific to sex, we can add the following:

• Swallowing filth
• Needlessly getting filthy These things are obvious.

Regarding the issue of oral sex, if it can be done in such a way that no filth is involved, then from the perspective of lawful and prohibited it in and of itself would be considered lawful. But the term "oral sex" covers a wide range of activities, and there are differences between the various schools of fiqh regarding the purity and filth of bodily fluids, namely: sperm and vaginal secretions; there seems to be agreement among the Hanafis, Shafi`is, and Hanbalis that pre-ejaculatory fluid is filthy. Something that entirely escapes the problem of filth is a man kissing the outer parts of his wife's genitals and sucking her clitoris. The first is mentioned in many books of Hanbali fiqh, saying that it is permissible before penetration and offensive after; and to clarify: the issue mentioned is not restricted to the outer parts. The second is mentioned in the Shafi`i work Fath Al-Mu`in and its meta-commentary `Iyanat Al-Talibin. For further reference, look through the index of the book of marriage for the sections concerning looking at members of the opposite sex and the sections conerning bedroom behavior .
Based on the basic guidelines above and based on the example of a man kissing his wife's genitals, it should also be lawful for a wife to kiss her husband's penis as long as she avoids any areas where there is pre-ejaculatory fluid.
But what Westerners usually have in mind when they talk about oral sex are fellatio and cunnilingus. Regarding pre-ejaculatory fluid, the only opinion I have ever seen is that it is haram. Additionally, even though the Shafi`is and Hanbali schools both consider sperm to be pure, they both agree that it is unlawful to swallow. This makes fellatio very highly likely to be unlawful. I suppose an enthusiastic couple could always use a condom.
As for cunnilingus: there are differences of opinion regarding whether or not vaginal secretions are pure or filthy, before and after penetration, and depending on where they are secreted from. Because of this, it is best avoided.
Should a couple decide to perform these acts, they must be sure to rinse out their mouths afterwards. This is something they should be doing in any case, and it is an essential part of purification for Hanbalis.
For added benefit and so we don't need to repeat this topic again: Hanbali books mention that it is lawful for a husband to achieve ejaculation by his wife masturbating him, and by rubbing his penis between her thighs or breasts. They also mention that while anal sex is absolutely unlawful, it is lawful to place a finger on the anus as long as it does not penetrate. One of the reasons for mentioning these detailed examples is to show that they were not unknown to the scholars, and in sha Allah to add strength to the idea that the general rulings mentioned in the books are sufficient for working out these detailed cases.
Up to here the topic concerns the lawful and the prohibited. But this issue is a completely separate from whether these acts should be done, and whether one spouse can compel the other one to do them.
When I asked my sheikh about these very issues he pointed out that while each spouse is responsible to provide for the other spouse's sexual needs and to keep them chaste, it is absolutely unlawful to abuse one another, mentally or physically. He also points out that Allah Most High in the Qur'an orders husband and wife to act amicably and well towards one another, and one needlessly forcing the other to do something--even when they have the right to demand it--goes against this principle. I once asked whether or not it was disobedience [nushuz] if husband demanded fellatio from his and she refused. His answer was that she is ordered to submit herself to him for intercourse: something she has not denied him here.
Even if people find this whole topic disgusting in practice, we should take note that the example given in the books is one where it is the wife who receives physical pleasure, not the husband, and that the location mentioned is the one most likely to bring about an orgasm. So much for the idea that Islam totally ignores the sexual needs of women, rendering them as little more than house keepers and sex toys for the husband's every whim. That the example of oral sex in fiqh books is for her pleasure and satisfaction should not go unnoticed.
And Allah knows best.

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Answered by Sidi Musa Furber of the Hanbali Fiqh list

Oral Sex : Is Kissing Sex Organs Allowed In Islam?

Is Kissing Sex Organs Allowed In Islam? I even asked yesterday about oral sex but no one again discuss on that serious issue, even today I don't find that topic. any way I want to know if husband force wife for oral sex then can she keep his husband happy by ONLY kissing her husband's penis. please please advise me regarding the islamic point of view. thanking you in advance.
	Group: Active Members  Joined: 14th Feb, 2007  Topic: 86  Post: 832  Age: 27
	Posted on:24th Feb 2007, 7:16am

Re. Oral Sex

I replied with a very very detailed answer yesterday on this topic and was hoping that it was enough on this topic, but was shocked to see that they were no more here. Anyways, lets try to give some comments.
First of all in my opininon, if both husband and wife are agree, then can enjoy themselves by every mean except two conditions mentioned clearly in Islam (1) Dont do sex during menstruation (2) Dont have sex in the anus (back hole/orifice) of wife. Other than that, every thing is allowed unless it comes under moral and ethical values of Islam. Now comes the question of penis sucking. In my opinion, this organ of husband is as same as other organs of body which can be excited to have pleasure. But there are multiple functions of this organ, so before kissing, sucking or licking husband's penis, make sure that it is totally washed and made pure. There shouldnt be any bit of NAJASIT, including seminal fluid(mani) or the pre-cum (mazi). In different maslaks of islam, there are slightly different opinions on this act, but never I have read that it is HARAM or break nikah. But it is considered MAKROOH because there is a great chance that during penis sucking by wife, seminal fluid can go to wife's mouth without even her notice. And mouth is the purest place in the body, so it cant be made filthy by unpure and NAPAK thing. But penis can be kissed with care that no secretion should go to mouth. For that a wife can avoid sucking, licking the orifice/hole/opening of the penis. Or she can do it just for a while and disconnect it way before husband's ejaculation process. All this knowledge is derived on the base of different materials available on the net on islamic point of view. Its better if some islamic scholar is contacted for some fatwa.
Here I am pasting a link from web, where this problem is asked from a mufti from africa and he has answered in detail. It may help you.
http://www.islam.tc/ask-imam/view.php?q=8124
http://www.islam.tc/ask-imam/view.php?q=6166
Other knowledgeable/married members are expected to give their comments and correct me if I am wrong. (May Allah forgive us for all our intentional or unintentional mistakes)

Re. Oral Sex (2) In continuation with above, if we read above mentioned fatwas, according to that scholar, it is totally prohibited. So now I wont recommend any one to go for this act, unless you get any fatwa from other/local scholar too. Here is answer of one more question: http://www.islam.tc/ask-imam/view.php?q=5303 The reason of clearing out the opinion to avoid any spread of wrong knowledge. Now everyone is expected to use his/her own AQAL and responsible for her own acts. Thanks. oral sex is a bad habbit like masturbation. Though masturbation has no harm for general and sex health, but oral sex is very harmful in some cases. In certain situation doctor advise people (medically) to do masturbation. But they never advise to do oral sex.
	Group:   Joined: 01st Jan, 1970  Topic:   Post:   Age:
	Posted on:24th Feb 2007, 10:08am

Life Doesn't End without Oral Sex

Thanks for remembering us Dr Saheb, but Alhamdoillah my other friends has already gave details on this matter so I think I should not continue on it. It is really sad that why Pakistani are so much thinking about oral sex? I think people are inspired by watching movies but they don’t know the reality of their culture and society. But just come and see the real face of their culture, society and family system then we can realize.

I will just try to mention some good manner about sex according to Islam lights with Hadeeths, so we can know that if we follow the Islam in correct way it is more then enough to enjoy our sex life with our wives.

In Islam, Both spouses are permitted to see each other in the nude. Both are also entitled to enjoy one another to the utmost. Mu'awiyah (may Allah be pleased with him) asked Allah's Messenger (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him), which reads as follows:“ Oh Messenger of Allah! To what extent should we protect [cover] our private parts? Allah's Messenger (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) is reported to have replied: Protect [cover] your private parts [fully] except from your spouse or those whom your right hand possess” [46]. Both spouses are entitled to enjoy each other fully in terms of sexual intercourse in any position, if the husband approaches his wife in the proper place, i.e., where a baby is delivered.

Allah (subhanahu wa ta'ala) revealed to Allah's Messenger (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) , on the spot, the following verse in Sura al-Baqarah (2:223): Your wives are as a tilth unto you: so approach your tilth when or how you will; but do some good act for your souls beforehand; and fear Allah, and know that ye are to meet Him [in the Hereafter], and give [these] good tidings to those who believe”

Something About Fore play,

Allah's Messenger (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) is reported to have said, which reads as follows:“ If a husband has an intercourse with his wife he must be truthful with her. If he got sexually satisfied before she does, then he should wait for her to get her satisfaction” [52].

In addition, Omar bin AbdulAziz (may Allah be pleased with him) is reported to have narrated the following Hadith of Allah's Messenger (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him), which reads as follows:“ Don't approach your wife sexually and have intercourse with her right away. You should wait until she is as sexually aroused as you are. The man asked: Oh Messenger of Allah! What should I do [in order to achieve that?] He (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) replied: Kiss her, touch her, and try to arouse her. If you notice that is she is as ready sexually as you are, then perform the intercourse” [53].

Life Doesn't  End Without Oral Sex

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Islamic Kama Sutra by Amar Khan

18 Mar, 2009

As we all know that Islam is a complete code of life. Every aspect of life is discussed in Islam. the very famous book “Kamasutra” is actually copied from Islamic texts. The real origin of Kama Sutra is the sahih hadith and sunnah of “holy” prophet. But alas, the Hindus has cheated and copied the jewels of Islamic texts in “kamasutra” and Muslims are far behind the field of modern sexology. But now its time of renaissance, so I have tried to put forward some jewel of hadith and sunnah regarding sexology so that Muslim “ummah” may prosper.

French kissing

Foreplay is very important before sex so in Islam it is very necessary. Especially, French kiss is almost obligatory. Here is the hadith regarding French kisses:
Sunaan Abu Dawud, 13:2380:

Narrated by Ayesha: The Prophet (PBUH) used to kiss her and suck her tongue when he was fasting.

Note: Ayesha was about 9 years at the time of her marriage.

Breast pressing and suckling
The second step for foreplay is breast pressing and suckling.
Malik's Muwatta: Book 30, Number 30.2.14:

Yahya related to me from Malik from Yahya ibn Said that a man said to Abu Musa al-Ashari, "I drank some milk from my wife's breasts and it went into my stomach." Abu Musa said, "I can only but think that she is haram for you." Abdullah ibn Masud said, "Look at what opinion you are giving the man." Abu Musa said, "Then what do you say?" Abdullah ibn Masud said, "There is only kinship by suckling in the first two years." Abu Musa said, "Do not ask me about anything while this learned man is among you."

Coitus interrupts
Islam has given us best way to prevent children so that slave girls don’t loss their price. The other advantage of coitus interruptus is that time is saved so that you may use the next slave girl.
 Sahih Muslim Book 8 Number 3373:

Abu Sa'id al-Khudri (Allah be pleased with him) reported: We took women captives, and we wanted to do 'azl (coitus interruptus) with them. We then asked Allah's Messenger (may peace be upon him) about it, and he said to us: Verily you do it, verily you do it, verily you do it, but the soul which has to be born until the Day of judgment must be born. (emphasis added)

Sahih Muslim Book 8 Number 3376:

Abu Sa'id al-Khudri (Allah be pleased with him) reported that Allah's Apostle (may peace be upon him) was asked about 'azl, (coitus interruptus) whereupon he said: There is no harm if you do not do that, for it (the birth of the child) is something ordained. Muhammad (one of the narrators) said: (The words) La 'alaykum (there is no harm) implies its Prohibition.

Group sex with wives
Group sex is a very common term in the world of pornography. But it is also a very often used term in Islamic literature. Allah had given our prophet strength of seventy men. Therefore, one of the attribute of our prophet is “superman of sex”. He used to have group sex with his nine wives.
Sahih Bukhari, Volume 1, Book 5, Number 270:

Narrated Muhammad bin Al-Muntathir:

on the authority of his father that he had asked 'Aisha about the saying of Ibn 'Umar (i.e. he did not like to be a Muhrim while the smell of scent was still coming from his body). 'Aisha said, "I scented Allah's Apostle and he went round (had sexual intercourse with) all his wives, and in the morning he was Muhrim (after taking a bath)."

Sahih Bukhari, Volume 7, Book 62, Number 6:

Narrated Anas:

The Prophet I used to go round (have sexual relations with) all his wives in one night, and he had nine wives.

Group sex with mother and daughter
Group sex was a holly sunnah of prophet. Some sahaba, the prophet's exalted companions, even used to do this practice with mother and daughters at the same time. But Umer did not like that practice and forbade it latter.
Malik's Muwatta, Book 28, Number 28.14.33:

Yahya related to me from Malik from Ibn Shihab from Ubaydullah ibn Abdullah ibn Utba ibn Masud from his father that Umar ibn al-Khattab was asked about a woman and her daughter who were in the possession of the right hand, and whether one could have intercourse with one of them after the other Umar said, "I dislike both being permitted together." He then forbade that.

Oral sex and thighing
Some westerners think that oral sex and thighing is the modern invention. But again it is mentioned in Islamic literature which is indeed miraculous.
Sunaan Abu Dawud, Book 1, Number 0270:

Narrated Aisha, Ummul Mu'minin:

Umarah ibn Ghurab said that his paternal aunt narrated to him that she asked Aisha: What if one of us menstruates and she and her husband have no bed except one? She replied: I relate to you what the Apostle of Allah (PBUH) had done.

One night he entered (upon me) while I was menstruating. He went to the place of his prayer, that is, to the place of prayer reserved (for this purpose) in his house. He did not return until I felt asleep heavily, and he felt pain from cold. And he said: Come near me. I said: I am menstruating. He said: Uncover your thighs. I, therefore, uncovered both of my thighs. Then he put his cheek and chest on my thighs and I lent upon he until he became warm and slept.

Doggy style
This style is one of modern style. But again it is mentioned in Islamic literature centuries ago therefore it is one of the miracles of Islam.
Sahih Muslim Book 008, Number 3364:

Jabir (b. Abdullah) (Allah be pleased with him) reported that the Jews used to say that when one comes to one's wife through the vagina, but being on her back, and she becomes pregnant, the child has a squint. So the verse came down:" Your wives are your tiIth; go then unto your tilth, as you may desire."

Sahih Muslim, Book 008, Number 3365:

This hadith has been reported on the authority of Jabir through another chain of transmitters, but in the hadith transmitted on the authority of Zuhri there is an addition (of these words): "If he likes he may (have intercourse) being on the back or in front of her, but it should be through one opening (vagina)."

Anal sex
There are some Muslims, who consider it haram but they are actually stayed people. Because anal sex is not only allowed in Islam but also it is practiced by many of the Sahaba.
Lets quote verbatim from Jami al Tirmidhi [Bab al Tafseer Vol. 2, p. 382, 'Ayat Hars']:

"Ibn Abbas narrates that Hadhrath Umar went before Rasulullah (s) and "Master I am destroyed!'. Rasulullah (s) asked 'what thing has destroyed you?'. Umar replied last night I had anal sex. Rasulullah (s) did not give a reply to Umar, then Allah (swt) sent down this revelation "Your wives are as a tilth unto you; so approach your tilth when or how ye will; the words 'kabool wa Dhabar' (the anus is accepted)"

We read in Tafseer Qurtubi Volume 3, page 93, Ayat Hars:

"Fatwas on the permissibility of sodomy with women Saeed bin Maseeb Nafi, ibn Umar, Muhammad bin Kab, Abdul Malik, Imam Malik, a large group amongst the Sahaba and Tabaeen deemed sodomy to be permissible".

Use of stick
Wow!
This is one of the method never mentioned in any porn literature. But it is mentioned in one of the authentic book of sunni Fiqh (jurisprudence):
In Tafseer Durre Manthur Ayat Hars:

"Abu Maleeka was asked whether it was permissible to practise sodomy with women. He replied 'Last night I practised sodomy with my servant, penetration became difficult hence I sought the assistance of a stick".

http://www.islam-watch.org/Amarkhan/Islamic-Kama -Sutra

QUESTION: can a woman suck penis of her husband and in return can a man suck clirotis of his wife during sex

Question
QUESTION: can a woman suck penis of her husband and in return can a man suck clirotis of his wife during sex

ANSWER: Yes as foreplay is very much encouraged in the Quran when Allah refers to your partner as a tilth- a garden to be prepared.

---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------

QUESTION: so,can they really suck each other genital part.........but if a woman would suck her husbands penis....sperm would come out .....is that a problem...same case would be with the man....
can they do...whatever they like...during sex....can they have sex in any position......
is it necessary to insert penis in the wright place....that is vagina..cant he insert it in vulva

Answer
They are all good and allowed. Avoid swallowing.

Sexuality and Faith: For A Better Fulfillment



Your love lifts my soul from the body to the sky
And you lift me up out of the two worlds.
I want your sun to reach my raindrops,
So your heat can raise my soul upward like a cloud.

Rumi

Images of love making and sounds of heat-filled exchanges are splashed on screens more than from pages of Scriptures. Yet, sex is not the franchise of wicked pimps and the merchandise of insane harlots, running amok on Bollywood dance floors and spewing haram semen on lounge bars. The story of a naked Adam in company with a nude Eve is as much primordial as it is sacred reading of all our divine Books. Notwithstanding, married people are torn between these two oddities, it seems like, without much reference from Islamic sources, as to what should be the stand when sex and faith are jamming. Does sexual pleasure betray of a weakening Faith and/or should a strong faith exclude sexuality?

The sharing of passions, sexually, is the result of a connection between hearts and the sexual organs. It’s a natural thing. One should not be ashamed of it, and neither perplexed. Without sexual passions shared and moreover, shared in a responsible, deep-seated and satisfying way, one cannot hope to enjoy the greatest gift of life- cohabitation. Faith ensures that this element of intimacy is alive and kept sustained between the two consenting parties, in this case married and of humans of opposite sexes. The dynamics of sexuality isn’t to be reduced to mere meetings; simply the unions for procreation or fulfillment of marital duties. Just as food needs spices besides taste so does nocturnal relationships. Just as clothing needs style plus colors so too does conjugal relations. Just as Faith needs fanning of its dying embers so too does Love needs refueling of it’s depleting energy i.e. the rejuvenation of sexual encounters between rightful parties have to receive ominously from the quarters of love, passion, conversation, surprise, travels, retreats, erotica, entertainment, company, laughter, humor, lingerie, spontaneity, text messages, prayers, et al.

Let the Quran speak! 2:223 “Your wives are as a garden unto you; so approach your farms when or how you will…”


Foreplay is the gardener’s main job here. He digs up the soil, fertilizes it, waters the seeds and constantly overlooks the earth so flowers may spring. Imagine people are still stuck on whether to caress is fine; to kiss; to mutually enjoy sex orally; to practice fetish; to simply ruminate wild imaginations on the flesh of wet dreams or to touch one’s own genitalia for personal pleasures. These are acts that the verse above, without categorization or prohibition, calls hars- preparing your garden. Aisha, May Allah be pleased with her, reports that her husband, never mind being understandably older and religious, did not leave her sexual life high and dry. He, on whom be peace, ensured the carefulness towards a virgin, the spontaneity of a lover and the romance of a poet when he referred to her as a crystal! So they recited poetry together, ran races in laughter, bathed in the same bath tub out of sexual adventure and guarded each others secrets like true friendship demands.

The Books of Fiqh from olden times discussed in detail sexual acts without a blush! I once attended a Scared Sex workshop on World Religions and was impressed when the presenter finally came to Islam, he said: lastly, Islam, this religion has the best view- it’s an act of worship! Sex itself is an act of Ibada, for procreation or not. Abdullah ibn Abbas, ra, used to perfume his tent in preparation of his mate’s nightly encounter and considered this the greatest virtue- to please her! The Companions enjoyed multiple wives without the morning nagging.

The Quran reminds us, according to Al Gazalli, that when a man is in erection or a woman experiences orgasm, and by the way this is the most lacking Sunna among Muslim women today, the minds loses control. Q. 2:286 Our Lord! Lay not on us a burden greater than we have strength to bear. According to the Da Vinci Code the Divine vision takes over in that brief moment of faintness. Therefore, ensure you do the best for each other sexually as such ecstasy breeds mysticism and definitely a security of marriage.

So let not Faith stand in the way of your sexuality, except, where precept clearly erects; like intercourse during menses as it’s painful or anal activity because it’s unhealthy or without matrimony as it produces illegitimate offspring and a tirade of jealousy.

Q: 2:187 “Permitted to you, on the night of the fasts, is the approach to your wives. They are your garments and you are their garments. Allah knows what you used to do secretly among yourselves; but He turned to you and forgave you; so now have intercourse with them, and seek what Allah has ordained for you…”

Rather allow the sweet sensation to tingle longer on the soft emotions of love and ride deeper into the abyss of your inner happiness, while lying bare on the rocks of Eden.

Oh Allah I ask you of the good of it and seek your refuge from the evil of it.




Sh Habeeb Alli is a freelance writer. Questions on Love can be asked at www.allexperts.com under his name.

Sex Is Good For You, The sexual aspect of life has three basic purposes:

Information Taken From: Natural Healing With the Medicine of The Prophet, Translated & Emendation from original Arabic by Muhammad Al-Akili. Edited by the webmaster, because it was androcentric (male centred) in its original form. It takes two to have sex. Some men forget the pleasure is not only theirs.

The sexual aspect of life has three basic purposes:

1. Conservation of the human race, and continuity of its kind until it reaches the total number of human beings intended by Allah’s (SWT) leave to experience life in this world, to fulfill the divine purpose, and to show gratitude to its Creator.

2. Ejection of bodily fluids from the body, otherwise, suppression or retention of congested semen can cause various kinds of serious illnesses.

3. Fulfillment of one’s desire, satisfaction of one's sexual pleasure, and enjoyment of this blessing.

The latter is the only pleasure of such intercourse which is also provided in the heavenly paradise, whereby, therein three is neither ejaculation, natural discharge of bodily fluids, nor reproduction.

Sex is Good for You

Learned physicians find that sexual intercourse yields essential health benefits.

Galen attributes semen to the elements of fire and air, and describes its humors as hot and moist. This is because semen is rich in prostaglandins, which are hormonelike fatty acids found throughout the body and particularly in semen. Prostaglandins are primary nutrients that affect essential body processes, including blood pressure, metabolism, and body temperature among others. Hence, understanding the value of this most unmitigated and purest form of blood an its preciousness requires great consideration in discharging it.

This means to wisely value the reasons behind dispensing of this precious water of life for either conceiving a child, or emitting it through lawful sexual intercourse upon congestion.

In fact, congested semen which are retained for an extended period can cause various illnesses and infirmities, including obsession, habitude, lunacy, and even insanity, and sometimes, engaging in lawful sexual intercourse may aid in the recovery from such illnesses.

On the other hand, congestion and prevalence of semen for an extended period can cause its corruption, and turns it into a harmful toxin that the body cannot easily dispose of. However, sometimes, nature produces a spontaneous and involuntary emission of excess semen, usually during sleep, and without sexual intercourse.

Some learned predecessors have concluded that the human being should pledge:

1. To walk at least a certain minimum distance every day.

2. To feed his stomach at regular intervals, and not to extend fasting from food beyond the religious requirement.

3. Not to abstain from having lawful sexual intercourse, for a water well drains out if its water if its not used regularly.

Imam Muhammad ibn Zakariyya once said:

"Abstaining from sexual intercourse for an extended period weakens one’s nervous system, can cause obstruction of the urethra, and shrinks the penis."

He added when he observed some people who vowed temporary abstention from sexual intercourse, that their sexual energy diminished, they suffered general weakness of their bodies, became doleful, lost their desire, and their digestive system became corrupt.

Hold on....Only Lawful Sex

Other benefits of lawful sexual intercourse include protecting one’s eyes from looking at what is unlawful, preserving one’s chastity, controlling one’s desire and lust against what is unlawful, and providing the same for his or her spouse. This will certainly provide the believing man and woman with innumerable benefits in this world and in the hereafter. Imam Ahmad alluding to abstention from sex, once said:

"I exercise patience when fasting from food and drink, though it is still difficult."

He also reported in his collection of correct prophetic traditions that Allah’s Messenger (SAW) encouraged the believers to get married, saying:

"Get married, and conceive many children for I shall take pride in your number on the day of judgment."

Ibn Abbass (RA) narrated that Allah’s Messenger (SAW) said:

"I get married, eat meat, sleep, stand up in night prayers, fast, and break my fast. Whoever disdains from my traditions (Sunnah) is not one of my followers."

He (SAW) also said:

"O young men whoever among you has the means to establish a family, he should get married, for marriage preserves the chastity of one’s eyes and sexual organ, and whoever cannot afford to establish a family, he must fast from desiring sex, for abstention in that
case will protect him from sin."

Ibn Abbass (RA) one said:

"We recognize that marriage is the best solution for two people who are in love."

It is also narrated in the two collections of correct prophetic traditions that Allah’s Messenger (SAW) said:

Allah’s Messenger (SAW) also encouraged people to choose the young and fertile. On this subject, Mu’qal bin Yasar related that a man said to Allah’s Messenger (SAW):

"I found a beautiful woman from a noble family but she cannot bear children, should I marry her? Allah’s Messenger (SAW) replied, "Nay." The man came back and asked a third time and asked the same question, Allah’s Messenger (SAW) turned to his companions and said: "Choose in your wives the fertile and the affectionate, for I shall take pride in your number on the day of judgment."

Hmmm...So how about some Tips?

Imam al-Tirmithi narrated that Allah’s Messenger (SAW) said:

"It is among the traditions of Allah’s Messengers to marry, to brush their teeth, to anoint themselves with perfume, and to be circumcised."

Prior to engaging in sexual intercourse, it is necessary for the husband to express his affection and love for his wife by touching her, caressing her, kissing her, and sometimes sucking her tongue. Jabir bin ‘Abdullah narrated that Allah’s Messenger (SAW) enjoined upon a man not to engage in sexual intercourse before caressing his wife.

It is also a prophetic tradition to take a complete ritual ablution (ghusl) after engaging in sexual intercourse and before retiring to sleep, and at least, to take a ritual ablution (wudu), should that man desire to reengage in sexual intercourse anew.

Upon climax, the innate heat transfuses throughout the entire body, and by taking a complete ritual ablution, the water refreshes one’s spirit, and ensures cleanliness and ritual purity. It also rejuvenates the body’s innate heat, musters its caloricity, and helps the gametogenous process. Almighty Allah (SWT) says:

"Verily, We have created man from Nutfah drops of mixed semen (discharge of man and woman), in order to try him, so We made him hearer, seer. (Al-Insan 76:2)

SEXUAL TECHNIQUES

Before I start writing anything about sexual techniques, it is necessary to say that no rules and laws exist either in foreplay or in intercourse. The only laws and rules are the ones reached by the lovers by mutual and often unspoken understanding. Whatever is pleasing and satisfying to both the husband and the wife is right and proper; and whatever is mutually displeasing is wrong. The only I imitation to this general rule would be any shari'ah rule which goes against the wishes of the husband or the wife.

(A) Foreplay:

Man often forgets that woman also has been created with the same desires as himself. Asbagh bin Nubatah quotes Imam 'Ali that, "Almighty God created sexual desires in ten parts; then He gave nine parts to women and one to men." But then Allah also gave them "equal parts of shyness.'' (Wasa'il, vol. 14, p. 40) Many times this shyness makes the man ignore the desires of his wife.

Based on this reality, Islam emphasizes on foreplay. Imam 'Ali says, "When you intend to have sex with your wife, do not rush because the woman (also) has needs (which should be fulfilled)." (Wasa'il, vol. 14, p. 40) Sex without foreplay has been equated to cruelty. The Prophet said, "Three people are cruel: . ..a person who has sex with his wife before foreplay.'' (Wasa'il, vol. 14, p. 40) Another hadith equates sex without foreplay to animal behavior: "When anyone of you has sex with his wife, then he should not go to them like birds; instead he should be slow and delaying." (Wasa'il, vol. 14, p. 82) The Prophet said, "No one among you should have sex with his wife like animals; rather there should be a messenger between them." When asked about the messenger, he said, "It means kissing and talking." (Tahzibu'l-Ihya, vol. 3, p. 110) Imam Ja'far as-Sadiq has been quoted as follows, "...there should be mutual foreplay between them because it is better for sex." (Wasa'il, vol. 14, p. 82) The Prophet said, "...every play of a believer is void except in three cases: horse-riding, archery and mutual foreplay with his wife these are haqq." (Wasa'il, vol. 14, p. 83)

As for the role of a woman in sexual foreplay, the Imams have praised a wife who discards shyness when she is with her husband. A hadith was quoted earlier from Imam 'Ali which said that women have been given nine-tenths of the sexual desire but Allah has also given them nine-tenths of shyness. (See p. 32) I had promised in Chapter Two to explain the rationale behind this hadith. There might seem to be a contradiction in this act of God, but it is not so. Both the sexual desire and the shyness have been placed for very specific purpose. The sexual desire is to be unleashed, yes unleashed, when a woman is with her husband, but it must be shielded with shyness when she is with other people. This has been very eloquently explained by Imam Muhammad al-Baqir when he said, "The best woman among you is the one who discards the armor of shyness when she undresses for her husband, and puts on the armor of shyness when she dresses up again." (Wasa'il, vol. 14, p. 14-15) After all, modesty and chastity in public is the hallmark of a Muslim lady.

These sayings clearly show that the husband and the wife should feel completely free when they are engaged in mutual stimulation which is known as foreplay. There is nothing wrong, according to Islam, for a woman to be active and responsive during sex. This is diametrically opposed to the sexual morality of the Christian Western world before the sexual revolution. Russell says, "Western women of a generation or two ago can recall being warned by their mothers that sexual intercourse was an unpleasant duty which they owed to their husbands, and that they were 'to lie still and think of England'. (As quoted in Sex and Destiny, p. 94) What else but a sexual revolt could such a morality breed?

As for the Islamic shari'ah, all the mujtahids are unanimous in saying that the act of sexual foreplay in itself is mustahab (recommended). Likewise, it is recommended not to rush into sexual intercourse. (Al-'Urwah, p. 625) The operative word is mutual pleasure and satisfaction.

(B) Techniques of Foreplay:

As far as the methods of mutual stimulation in foreplay are concerned, the shari'ah allows the husband and the wife to see, kiss, touch, smell and stimulate any part of each other's body. Therefore, oral sex, as it is known in this part of the world is allowed. Imam Musa al-Kazim was once asked, "Can a person kiss his wife's vagina?" The Imam said, "No problem." (Wasa'il, vol. 14, p. 77; for similar views of present mujtahids see al-'Urwah, p. 625) The only restriction is that no foreign object should be used. And this restriction is quite understandable: nothing can really substitute the things Allah has created in our bodies!

The restriction I am placing on the use of foreign objects is based on the following hadith. 'Ubaydullah bin Zurarah says that he had an old neighbor who owned a young slave-girl. Because of his old age, he could not fully satisfy the young slave-girl during sexual intercourse. She would therefore ask him to place his fingers in her vagina as she liked it. The old man complied with her wishes even though he did not like this idea. So he requested 'Ubaydullah to ask Imam ' Ali ar-Riza (a. s.) about it. When 'Ubaydullah asked the Imam about it, the Imam said, "There is no problem as long as he uses any part of his own body upon her, but he should not use any thing other than his body on her." (Wasa'il, vol. 14, p. 77)

In an earlier discussion, we said that masturbation (i.e., self-stimulation of one's own sexual organ till emission of semen or orgasm) is not allowed. However, in the case of married persons, there is no problem if the wife stimulates her husband's penis till the emission of semen or the husband stimulates his wife's vagina till orgasm. (This issue has also been clearly mentioned by the late Ayatullah al-Khu'i in answer to some questions sent by an 'alim from London) This is allowed because it does not come under "self-stimulation;" it is stimulation by a lawful partner. The Qur'an clearly says that, "The believers are.. . those who protect their sexual organs except from their spouses." (23: 5-6) And stimulation of sexual organs by a lawful partner surely comes under the definition of protecting one's organ s "except from their spouses."

(C) Sexual Intercourse:

Is there any particular position for sexual intercourse which is forbidden in Islam? No! As far as the basic coital positions are concerned, there are no restrictions. I am using the term 'basic coital positions' for the positions known as the man above, face to face, woman above face to face; side position, face to face; rear-entry position in which the husband penetrates the vagina from the rear. Actually, the shari'ah has left it on the husband and the wife to explore and experiment as they wish.

In the early Islamic period, an event took place which clarified this issue for all. The people of Medina, influenced by the Jews, used man-above face to face position during sexual intercourse; whereas the Meccans liked to experiment various positions. After the migration of Muslims to Medina, a Meccan married a Medinan woman and wanted to have sex with her in his own way. The woman refused and said that he can have sex with her only in one position. The case was reported to the Prophet; so Allah revealed the verse saying "Your women are a tilth for you, so go in to your tilth as you like." (2:223) That is, in any position. (At-Tabataba'i, al-Mizan, vol. 3 (English translation) p. 319)

However, it is makruh to adopt a standing position, or to face the qiblah or keep it on the backside during the intercourse. It is advisable to refrain from the acrobatic positions given by some sexologists of the East and the West which might even cause physical harm. Remember, the basic rule is mutual pleasure and flexibility. If one partner does not like a particular position, then the other should yield to his or her feelings.

(D) Anal Intercourse:

The opinions of our mujtahids vary on the permissibility of anal intercourse. Before mentioning the preferred and correct view, I would like to explain why the mujtahids have differed in their opinions.

This variance in fatwas is because of the difference in the ahadith we have on this issue. There is a hadith, for example, from Imam Ja'far as-Sadiq quoting the Prophet that "The anus of women is haram for my community." (Wasa'il, vol. 14, p. 104) Now this hadith categorically forbids anal intercourse. But, according to 'Allamah al-Hilli and ash-Shahid ath-Thani, the chain of narrators of this hadith is not completely flawless. (See Hilli's Tazkiratu'l-Fuqaha, vol. 2, p. 576-7; Shahid's Masalik, vol. 2, p. 303) On the other hand for example, we have a hadith from 'Abdullah bin Abi Ya'fur whose chain of narrators is authentic in which Imam Ja'far as-Sadiq was questioned about a man who had had intercourse in the anus of his wife. The Imam said, "There is no problem in it if she agrees." (Wasa'il 'sh-Shi'ah, vol. 14, p. 103)

When faced which such conflicting ahadith, most mujtahids have tried to bring them together by taking the apparently more authentic hadith (which approves anal intercourse) as a qualifier for the ahadith which totally forbid such sex. And in conclusion, they say that the prohibition in such ahadith is not on the level of haram, instead it is on the level of makruh. (See ash-Shahid ath-Thani, Sharh Lum'ah, vol. 2, p. 68 and Masalik, vol. 1, p. 438-9)

This conclusion of theirs is supported by a third category of ahadith on this subject in which the Imams have clearly and strongly discouraged their followers from anal intercourse. An example can be found in the question asked by Safwan al-Jammal to Imam 'Ali ar-Riza (a.s.) in which the latter clearly expressed his personal dislike for such act. (Wasa'ilu 'sh-Shi'ah, vol. 14, p. 102-103)

Therefore the majority of the Shi'ah mujtahids have derived two conclusions: (l) that anal intercourse is not haram but strongly disliked (karahatan shadidah) provided the wife agrees to it. (2) and if she does not agree to it, then all mujtahids say that it is precautionarily wajib to refrain from it. (See the fatawa of all contemporary mujtahids in their annotations to al-'Urwatu'l-Wuthqa, p. 628)

With all due respect to the great mujtahids who hold the above opinion, I would like to present the preferred opinion. It is true that we have conflicting ahadith from our Imams on anal intercourse, but the ahadith which approve anal intercourse are not suitable for deriving an opinion. Why? Because, in the case of conflicting ahadith, the mujtahid has to contrast them with the Sunni view prevalent at the time when the ahadith were issued by the Imams. And, then, those which agree with the Sunni view are to be considered as statements issued under taqiyyah and, therefore, not suitable for use in ijtihad. (For this methodology, the specialist reader may refer to Shaykh Murtaza al-Ansari, Rasa'il, p. 464-468) Using this method of solving the conflicting ahadith gives strength to the prohibitive ahadith and brings us to the preferred view that anal intercourse is not allowed. (For further details on this view, the specialist reader may refer to the late Ayatullah Syed Rahat Husayn al-Golalpuri, al-Intisar fi hurmati'l-adbar, Lucknow, al-Wa'iz Safdar Press, 1354 AH. To know the views of some prominent Sunnis of the Early Islamic period who approved anal intercourse, the English readers can refer to at-Tabataba'i, al-Mizan vol. 3 (English translation) pp. 320-321) Probably, it was such a consideration which caused the late Ayatullah al-Khu'i to change his view on this issue. During the last decade of his life, Ayatullah al-Khu'i departed from the majority view and gave the ruling that it was precautionarily wajib to abstain from anal intercourse no matter whether the wife agrees to it or not. (See al-Khu'i, Minhaju 's-Salihiyn, vol. 1 (Beirut: 22nd edition) p. 64)

I would strongly advise against anal intercourse, and would like to end this section with the saying of Imam Ja'far as-Sadiq and Imam 'Ali ar-Riza about anal intercourse: "Woman is a means of your pleasure, therefore do not harm her." (Wasa'il, vol. 14, p. 101-102)

(E) Decency & Privacy

There was a time when people need not be reminded of some of the basic moral and ethical values, but now we are living in an era where moral values are changing like worn-out car tires!

One such issue is decency of dress at home and privacy at the time of sexual intercourse or intimate contact between husband and wife. There are some people in the West (of course, a minority) who think that it is okay, nay healthy, to stay naked in presence of their children! On a collective basis, they also organize nude camps. Why? So that the children will not think negatively about their own sexuality. Such parents also feel that there is nothing wrong in sexual intercourse in the presence of their children. This behavior is an example of the extreme reaction to the rigid Christian morality. To protect their children from associating sex with evil, some of these parents go to the extent of completely opening up to their children!

Such behavior is not only condemned by those who still abide by religious moral systems, it is equally condemned by those who are familiar with child psychology. A sexual manual read by millions of Westerners says, "Never involve children in adult sexual activities: militant and exhibitionist liberals who try to acclimatize children to the naturalness of sex by letting them in any level of their own sex lives probably do at least as much harm as was ever done by the prohibitive sex-is-dirty generation."

We have quite a few ahadith in which the Prophet and the Imams have emphasized that when you engage in sexual intercourse, make sure that no child (or, for that matter, any other person) sees you or hears you. Abu Basir quotes Imam Ja'far as-Sadiq as follows, "Be careful not to have sex with your wife while a child can see you. The Prophet used to dislike this (attitude) very strongly." (Wasa'il, vol. 14, p. 94-95) If a child sees and hears the parents engaged in sexual intercourse, he might go through a shocking psychological experience. It might also create a problem in his own adult life. The manual quoted earlier says, "Most young children are biologically programmed to interpret the sight or sound of adult coition as evidence of a violent assault (they are aware of it earlier than you would expect, so don't keep babies in the bedroom), and the awareness of mother-father sexual relations is on all counts far too explosive a matter to be monkeyed with in the interest of Reichian experiments."

Islam has laid down clear guide-lines about the privacy of adults. Referring to the children who have not yet reached the age of puberty (bulugh), the Qur'an says:

O you who believe! ... Those of you who have not yet reached puberty should ask you for permission (before entering your bedroom during) three times: before the dawn prayer, when you put off your garments at midday (for siesta), and after the night prayer these are three times of privacy for you. Besides (these three times), there is no blame on you or them if you go to one another (without announcing yourselves). Thus God makes clear to you the signs, and God is All-Knowing, Wise. (24:58)

Then referring to the children who have reached the age of puberty, the Qur'an says:

When your children reach puberty, they should ask your permission (at all times before entering your bedrooms) just as those who were before them had asked permission. Thus God makes clear to you the signs, and God is All-Knowing, Wise. (24:59)

These two verses give us the following rules about privacy within and without the family circles:

1. There are three times in a day night, early morning and afternoon which are considered as times of privacy.

2. The minor children should be taught that during times of privacy they are not allowed to enter the bedroom of their parents or adults without first asking their permission. Obviously, by minor we do not mean infants; we mean the children who can understand what is right and what is wrong. I would put that at age five and above. The parents will have to ingrain this teaching to their minor children gradually.

3. At other times, the children are free to come and go into the bedroom of their parents without asking for their permission. In retrospect, this means that the parents should be decently dressed at those other times.

4. As for the mature children and adults, the Qur'an is clear that they may enter the bedroom of their parents or other adults at all times only after asking their permission.

06. THE WEDDING NIGHT -Islamic Marriage (Nikaah) Handbook for Young Muslims, Muslim Wedding and Marriage Guide

06. THE WEDDING NIGHT:

It is highly recommended that the wedding should take place at night. The hadith says, "Take the bride to her new home during the night." When the bride enters the room, the groom is recommended to take off her shoes and wash her feet (in a washbowl) and then sprinkle the water around the room. Then he should perform wuzu and pray two-rak'at sunnat prayer and then recite the following du'a:

Allahummar zuqni ilfahaa wa wuddaha wa riz"aaha bi; warz"ini biha, wa-ajma' baynana bi ah'sane ijtimaa'in wa anasi i-tilafin; fa innaka tuh'ibbul h'alaala wa tukrihul h'araam.

O Allah! Bless me with her affection, love and her acceptance of me; and make me pleased with her, and bring us together in the best form of a union and in absolute harmony; surely You like lawful things and dislike unlawful things.

Then he should ask the bride to do wuzu and pray two-rak'at sunnat prayer.

When they are ready to go to bed, the groom should put his hand on the bride's forehead and pray the following du'a while facing the Qiblah.

Allahumma bi amaanatika akhadhtuha wa bi kalimaatika is-tah'laltuha. Fa in qaz"ayta li minha waladan, faj-'alhu mubaarakan taqiyyan min Shi'ati Aal-i Muh'ammad (s'al-lal-laahu a'layhi wa aalihi wa sallam) wa laa taj-'al lish Shayt'aani fihi shirkan wa laa naseeba.

O Allah! I have taken her as Your trust and have made her lawful for myself by Your words. Therefore, if You have decreed for me a child from her, then make him/her blessed and pious from among the followers of the Family of Muhammad [peace be upon him and them]; and do not let Satan have any part in him/her.

Is it necessary to have sexual intercourse on the very first night after the wedding or can it be delayed? As far as the Shariah is concerned, it is neither obligatory nor forbidden to have sex on the first night. It is a private decision between the newly wed couple; it has nothing to do with others.

Islamic view of anal sex

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Anal sex in Sunni Islam is not entirely prohibited^{[citation needed]}, and is controversial among Islamic scholars. Disputes over anal sex also appear in pre-modern sources ^[1] such as the hadith of Sahih Bukhari ^[2] and Usul al-Kafi. It is practiced by some Muslims as a means of family planning on the authority of above cites sources.^[3] It is currently overwhelmingly considered taboo however.^[2]

The Koran states that "Your women are tilth for you (to cultivate) so go to your tilth as ye will, and send (good deeds) before you for your souls, and fear Allah, and know that ye will (one day) meet Him."(PICKTHAL translation) ^{[Qur'an 2:223]}.

Send before you here refers to foreplay.^{[citation needed]}

References for and against

The Bukhari Sharif Hadith 4170 & 4171 state that anal sex is permissible (halal). It also refers to what al-Bukhaari tells of Naafi' telling of Ibn Umar analysing the passage "so go to your tilth when or how you will". Umar's interpretation was that "he may approach her from …" (Volume 6, Book 60, Number 50 = #4253).^[4] Umar's interpretation however has been questioned.

On the ellipsis Ibn Hajar says in Fath al-Bari (8/189): This is how it appears in all the texts. It does not mention what comes after the word "from".' He also quotes other sources than al-Bukhaari, which have Ibn 'Umar saying "He may approach her in her back passage." ^[5]

Most Muslim jurists agree that anal sex is haram, based on the hadith: "Do not have anal sex with women", reported by Ahmad, At-Tirmidhi, Al-Nasa'i and Ibn Majah.

Khuzaima ibn Thabit also reports that the messenger of Allah said: "Allah is not too shy to tell you the truth: "Do not have sex with your wives in the anus", reported by Ahmad, 5/213.

`Abd Allah ibn `Abbas narrates: "The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said: "Allah will not look at a man who has anal sex with his wife", reported by Ibn Abi Shaybah (3/529) and At-Tirmidhi, classified it as an authentic hadith (1165).

It is reported that Muhammad referred to such acts as "minor sodomy," reported by Ahmad and An-Nasa'i.

However, there are hadith which permit anal sex, one in Sunni Islam and two in Shia Islam. The Sahih Bukhari (Volume 6, Book 60: Prophetic Commentary on the Qur'an (Tafseer of the Prophet), Hadith No. 50)^[4], an important document for Sunnis, permits it. Its authenticity is conformed by a hadith of Sunan Abu Dawud (Book 11: Marriage (Kitab Al-Nikah), Hadith Number 2159)^[6], though the said hadith itself is in disagreement with many other hadith in other books, except for the Sahih Bukhari.^[7].

In Shia Islam, the book of hadith Kitab al-Kafi (the Bukhari of Shi'ism) states that anal sex with woman is considered repulsive. The Grand Ayatollah has decreed that anal intercourse is "not permissible without the wife's consent".

Clarification in Hadith Literature

Sahih Bukhari book 60 Hadith No. 50 has mentioned directly of Anal Sex and is not referring to the same matter as Hadith No. 51. The reasoning that the Arabic text of Hadith has left the word blank is valid. Other references are as:

An-Nasa'i reported that Ka`b bin `Alqamah said that Abu An-Nadr said that he asked Nafi`, "The people are repeating the statement that you relate from Ibn `Umar that he allowed sex with women in their rear (anus). He said, "They have said a lie about me. But let me tell you what really happened. Ibn `Umar was once reciting the Qur'an while I was with him and he reached the Ayah:

(Your wives are a tilth for you, so go to your tilth, when or how you will,) He then said, `O Nafi`! Do you know the story behind this Ayah' I said, `No.' He said, `We, the people of Quraysh, used to have sexual intercourse with our wives from the back (in the vagina). When we migrated to Al-Madinah and married some Ansari women, we wanted to do the same with them. They disliked it and made a big issue out of it. The Ansari women had followed the practice of the Jews who have sex with their women while they lay on their sides. Then, Allah revealed: (Your wives are a tilth for you, so go to your tilth, when or how you will,) This has an authentic chain of narrators.

Abu Bakr bin Ziyad Naysaburi reported that Isma`il bin Ruh said that he asked Malik bin Anas, "What do you say about having sex with women in the anus He said, "You are not an Arab Does sex occur but in the place of pregnancy Do it only in the Farj (vagina). I said, "O Abu `Abdullah! They say that you allow that practice. He said, "They utter a lie about me, they lie about me. This is Malik's firm stance on this subject. It is also the view of Sa`id bin Musayyib, Abu Salamah, `Ikrimah, Tawus, `Ata , Sa`id bin Jubayr, `Urwah bin Az-Zubayr, Mujahid bin Jabr, Al-Hasan and other scholars of the Salaf (the Companions and the following two generations after them). They all, along with the majority of the scholars, harshly rebuked the practice of anal sex and many of them called this practice a Kufr.