Sexual Attractiveness in Marriage
The sexual attractiveness is a continuous process that is necessary to bind the 2 spouses together. Some people misunderstand this to mean that a person is attractive before marriage in order to attract the other and need not maintain her attractiveness after that. A married person must always look attractive to their spouce. This prevents them from being tempted by others.
Conjugal Rights
Both husband and wife have rights to sexual satisfaction. The conjugal rights are enforceable by law. None of the spouses can refuse under reasonable conditions.
Hygiene
Cleanliness is a very important part of Islam. Muslims are required to wash before they pray, wash after they visit the toilet and even wash before and after they have sexual relations with their partners. The law has regulations for proper conduct of sexual relations. These serve at decreasing the risk of sexually transmitted diseases or at increasing the pleasure of both partners. Once a person has had sexual intercourse with their spouse they are in a state of impurity, and thus are required to do ghusl (shower). The state of impurity is reached not by the actual act of being intimate with your partner, but rather though the emission of bodily fluids such as semen, sweat, etc.
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Haya
The Islamic term haya is not perfectly translated by the English term, shyness. Haya is an inner spiritual protective device that makes a person shun sin and what may lead to it. It is not bashfulness or being introvert as some may think of it. Haya is considered part of faith, iman. It is the morality of Islam. Haya is always for the good and can never be negative. It is a characteristic attribute of all messengers. The Qur'an describes in detail the haya of the daughters of Shuaib in their meeting with Musa (PBUH) which should serve as a model for other women.
Conversation
It is advisable to hold conversations with your spouse about sexual intercourse so that each partner can come to a decision about what they enjoy and what they do not enjoy. It is not required, however it is beneficial. Maybe your partner does not like a certain position, or feels uncomfortable with it, or is experiencing pain during it, but not telling you in fear of displeasing you. So discussion should be open between the couple, since they are legally married in the sight of Allah, there is no harm upon them to discuss such matters openly with one another.
Seclusion
Needless to say, sexual intercourse is not a public affair! Thus ensure that you have sex in a private area, and not a public area where you are at risk of being seen. Putting yourself and your spouse in harms way is forbidden in Islam.
Foreplay
The Prophet
instructed Muslim men to satisfy their wives during intercourse. One must avoid intercourse with one’s wife before any foreplay. Rather, one should kiss and caress their partner to sexually simulate them. Masturbating your partner is allowed in Islam for the purpose of sexual simulation. When one sees that his/her partner is ready, prepared, and desirous of them, only then should they initiate intercourse. The wisdom behind this is evident, since both partners will enjoy the act of sexual intercourse more.
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