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Monday, March 1, 2010

13. DUTIES OF OTHER FAMILY MEMBERS: Islamic Marriage (Nikaah) Handbook for Young Muslims, Muslim Wedding and Marriage Guide


Other household members should also know that the time and attention of the newly married ones will be divided and previous expectations may have to be changed to suit new circumstances. In joint families, the NaMehram ladies must observe hijab if they are not living in a separate house with their husbands.

Decency and Privacy

Holy Prophet Muhammad (s.a.w.) and the Imams have emphasized that when you engage in sexual intercourse, make sure that no child (or, for that matter, any other person) sees you or hears you. Abu Basir quotes Imam Jafar as-Sadiq (a.s.) as follows, "Be careful not to have sex with your wife while a child can see you. Holy Prophet Muhammad (s.a.w.) used to dislike this (attitude) very strongly." If a child sees and hears the parents engaged in sexual intercourse, he might go through a shocking psychological experience. It might also create a problem in his own adult life. Islam has laid down clear guidelines about the privacy of adults.

Holy Qur'an gives us the following rules about privacy within the family circles:

1. There are three times in a day: night, early morning and afternoon, which are considered as times of privacy.

2. The minor children should be taught that during times of privacy they are not allowed to enter the bedroom of their parents or adults without first asking their permission.

3. At other times, the children are free to come and go into the bedroom of their parents without asking for their permission. In retrospect, this means that the parents should be decently dressed at those other times.

4. As for the mature children and adults, the Holy Qur'an is clear that they may enter the bedroom of their parents or other adults at all times only after asking their permission.

Conclusion: The Islamic way of life not only assures happiness and satisfaction of an individual but the society as a whole benefits by implementing the laws of Shariah. Since the society consists of families and families come into being by matrimonial relationships it is necessary that this basic unit of society is properly understood and protected from all that threatens its existence.

14. GLOSSARY OF ISLAMIC TERMS:

HARAAM: forbidden, prohibited.
IHTIYAT WAJIB: precautionary wajib.
JA'IZ, HALAAL, MUBAH: permitted, allowed, lawful, legal.
MARJA (pl. MARAJI): A high-ranking mujtahid.
MAKRUH: reprehensible, disliked, discouraged.
MUJTAHID: or FAQIH (pl. FUQAHA): a jurist.
SUNNAT or MUSTAHAB: recommended, desirable, better.
WAJIB: obligatory, necessary, incumbent.

15. BIBLIOGRAPHY:

01. Ideal Marriage - Van de Velde
02. Marriage and Morals in Islam - Sayyid Muhammad Rizvi
03. Marriage and Family Ethics - Ibrahim Amini
04. Spouse Selection - Ali Akber Mazaheri
05. Youth and Morals - S. Mujtaba Musavi Lari
06. Sexual Ethics in Islam and in the Western World - M. Mutahhari
07. Islamic Law - Ayatullah Seestani
08. Tahzeebul Islam - Allamah Majlisi
09. Adaabe Mujaameaat - Peermohammed Ebrahim Trust
10. A Gift for the Youth - Shabeeb Rizvi

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