by Syed Mumtaz Ali & Rabia Mills
In the Islamic faith, the first and the foremost and the most reliable and highest form of religious law for faithful Muslims is contained within the holy Qur'an. The Prophetic Traditions (also known as Hadith, which are the sayings and doings and tacit approval of things said or done in the presence of the Prophet Muhammad, p.b.u.h.)(1) are a second source of law. With that said, we hope the following reply will answer your question.
According to Islam, procreation is not the sole and only purpose of marriage. While procreation is a primary purpose, companionship and enjoyment of the spouse along with avoidance of unlawful or sinful relationships are also secondary purposes. These secondary purposes play their own important roles in the Islamic teachings which govern sexual relations. In other words, although procreation is definitely an aim, it is not an exclusive aim. Procreation is the major purpose, but nonetheless enjoyment and other purposes also play significant roles in married life as evidenced by the Islamic teachings which relate to sexual relations.
Although the primary purpose of sex is procreation, the Qur'an does not forbid it when a woman reaches menopause. For example, in the Qur'an is the story is about the Prophet Zakariya a.s.(2) (Christian spelling -- Zakaria) [see Qur'an 19:1-15] who had fathered a child well into his old age. One verse in particular reads:
"He [Zakariya] said: "O my Lord! How shall I have a son, when my wife is barren and I have grown quite decrepit from old age?" [Qur'an 19:8]
"He said: "So (it will be): thy Lord saith, "That is easy for Me: I did indeed create thee before, when thou hadst been nothing!" [Qur'an 19:9]
The Qur'anic reference above, then, shows the case of a couple carrying on sexual relations well into old age. This in turn signifies that these relations are allowed within marriage and into old age for Muslim couples.
You will recall that this same story is found in the Old Testament with reference to Zakaria a.s. who was made to be mute for three days and nights as a sign from God.
In this connection, it is interesting to note that even in our relatively recent times, history has recorded the fact that the great Sufi Shaikh, Abdul Qadir Gilani r.a., was born on the 1st day of Ramadan 470 A.H [some historians say 471 A.H] which corresponds to March 18, 1078 A.D. His mother was 60 years of age at the time of his birth.
In terms of the Traditions of the Prophet Muhammad, p.b.u.h. we can see another meaningful example of this in the life of the Prophet. The Prophet Muhammad p.b.u.h. married his first wife (Khadija aged 40) when he was 25 years old, and he remained monogamous throughout his entire 26 years of marriage to her. He then married A'isha at the age of 54, but this was three years after the death of Khadija. It was after this marriage that he then took other wives. By the way, many non-Muslim writers have directed a great deal of unjust criticism against him for this. In fact all of these women were quite old or were widows who had been left destitute and without protection during those troubled times. And so as the head of State at Medina, the only proper way (according to Arab code) in which Muhammad p.b.u.h. could extend both protection and maintenance to them was by marriage.(3) [see also Appendix A] Those marriages were not only consummated, but ancillary sexual relations have also been reported to us through the Hadith literature. Hence another proof that sexual relations are considered acceptable well into old age. "Polygamy was not always considered to be so reprehensible as it is now. For example, St. Augustine himself observed that there was no intrinsic immorality or sinfulness in it, and declared that polygamy was not a crime where it was the legal institution of a country."(4) This subject matter, however, is another topic altogether. [see also Appendix B]
We have reproduced an excerpt on our website by Dr. M.A. Rauf from his book 'Marriage in Islam'. In this excerpt, Dr. Rauf discusses in great detail the advantages and possible disadvantages of marriage. Among the advantages that he discusses are procreation, fulfilment of the natural urge, companionship, comfort and relief to the soul, and so on. He also discusses the disadvantages and the types of burdens and risks involved with marriage. All of the advantages or benefits are in effect meant to be regarded as the secondary purpose of marriage which supplement its major aim or purpose, namely procreation. We would highly recommend that you read this excerpt for a more complete understanding of our present response to you.
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With regards to your question regarding menopause, we would also strongly suggest that you read the book "The Proper Conduct of Marriage in Islam" by Imam al-Ghazzali. (5) [see also Appendix C] We would particularly refer you to where al-Ghazzali explains the rationale and reasoning for the recommendation of marriage - even for the impotent. In his Conclusion, al-Ghazzali discusses the other purposes of marriage and that is to fulfil the natural sexual desires as well as to experience its joy and protection from the perils of lust.
If one cohabits with one's own wife -- not for carnal pleasure alone, but for performing the duty imposed by God -- it would be an act of piety and devotion, meriting the pleasure and reward from God and this is as the Prophet p.b.u.h. has observed. This is what has been described as spiritualizing temporal duties. [see also Appendix D] You might also refer to where Imam al-Ghazzali discusses the subject of relaxation and recreation for the soul and so on.
Islam also prescribes certain rules of sexual etiquette. Imam al-Ghazzali also sets out the PropheticTraditions which deal with the pleasures of 'foreplay' and other similar enjoyments that are permitted when the wife is menstruating. Not permitted, however, is to go so far as to copulate by means of penetration into the vagina during menstruation.
Islam has declared fornication (which by definition in Islam includes adultery) unlawful, and it goes to great lengths to make it repugnant by sanction and deterrent. It has even gone so far as to make any alliances of this type of unlawful sexual relationship a heinous sin and an odious offence. In other words, sexual relations of any kind, that fall outside of lawful marriage, are absolutely forbidden. For example:
"Nor come nigh to adultery for it is a shameful (deed) and an evil, opening the road (to other evils)." [Qur'an 17:32]
"The woman and the man guilty of adultery or fornication - flog each of them with a hundred stripes. Let not compassion move you in their case, in a matter prescribed by Allah, if ye believe in Allah and the Last Day. And let a party of the Believers witness their punishment." [Qur'an 24:2]
"Those who bring the charge of adultery against chaste women but cannot produce four witnesses to prove the charge, give them 80 lashes and their testimony should never be believed." [Qur'an 24:4]
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